The Wayward Male

Her Mother says I'm not that bright in need of supervision. A wayward male who would likely fail to make a good decision. So I've lost my friends... they've disappeared, my wife gave them the boot. To up our standing and improve our branding with people of high repute. My diet's better so I'm eating greens, no beer or fatty foods. But I tell you plain, I try in vain but I'm in a foul mood. I dream of things I cannot have like burgers doused in sauce. A chicken wing and some onion rings, all hidden from the Boss. But her senses keen as she's rarely tricked when I try to cheat. She sets me straight then sets my plate and tells me what to eat. Our viewing habits are oft discussed and we are of one accord. No tennis courts or winter sports and no watching zombie hordes. My gaming suffers as she disapproves so my Xbox gathers dust. Though when out of sight, I still sneak at night to satisfy my lust. When I talk to her... she twists my words to points of her own choosing. A terse reply, she then starts to cry which makes it more confusing. What keeps me here? I love my wife, would never find another. So I will obey and I'm here to stay just to piss off her dear Mother. The End ^Follow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's Your Uncle.