The Way My Ex-Friends Wan'T You To See

people always say to me you clearly want to better me succeeding whilst I fell away conforming to normality I don't meet or speak to people face to face invisible but hey, nobody knew anyway one day there then never again a mystery from the first day I'm silent dealing with my fate disbelieving our lost loyalty down and out from living enjoyably never turned and asked for help from people I had helped myself confident with an empty corner individually fighting slaughter unprepared as I stared at abuse ever flaring fighting alone and mocked when sharing desperate for help with no one caring my stories refused and the truth was removed for theories replacing a suffering truth a battle I'm losing a war I can't win and everyone's laughing "don't listen to Trim" suffering breakdowns whilst labelled a fake clown rumours are flying I plummet straight down had a world with a job and a social scene healthy to watching it robbed screaming "somebody help me" not ignored but refused made a joke til it killed me when changing my mood an aggression had filled me they'd ask me what's wrong I'd say I don't know overwhelmed in isolation being overthrown hostility I was facing and a belief I was faking my world devastated and my image mistaken treated as needy the first time I needed branded a liar when I say what defeated the help I reached for would lie and repeat it the truth was unknown, I completely retreated nobody knew and I had nobody too I spoke as I sunk but my words were refused removing the truth the theories come true and now they judge me on rumours which grew I turned to my friends then became a recluse removing them all piecing what I'd been through they didn't just fail me as they all stood amused they made people think I'm some desperate dude and everyone says they want to be better than you so it's coming across when they speak as they do with selfless help offerings and hope I improve don't they look good trying to help a delude but their short and their bald and addicted to weed as I still have my hair addiction free soberly writing as no one sees me so very different to how i'm believed with no one to help me process the grief I can't sing can't rap I can't write poetry I'm not seen face to face where eyes can judge me instead believed how traitors want me to be Now I'm seen as mad angrily speaking the truth I don't care what you think cus you don't seek the proof