THE DUSTY BOX OF MEMORIES

THE DUSTY BOX OF MEMORIES I was not searching, but just stumbled on it Across a dusty box of memories in my brain Not the usual recollection of a pleasant time But some events that never seemed to rhyme Ones when remembered, do cause me pain And never deserving reference in any sonnet Those were many years spent working away A family growing up, yet me just like a ghost My wife bringing up two kids, almost alone And since then, a feeling that I should atone Yet for me, progress unworthy of any boast Just more tension and anxiety, day after day The memories like coals I rake over in a fire Regret that burns, of the precious years lost What hurts me most is the deafening silence And perhaps the wrong target for defiance As when memories are tallied, I see the cost I was in many sectors, almost a gun for hire There’s a bitter taste now left in my mouth From the dusty box of memories spilled out Images, some only imagined and rarely real Thoughts compete with how it makes me feel As it resets the dial to endure another bout No relief is found between North and South I do need some way to forever lose that box It’s here, denying access to better memories But it is that span across grimaces and grins That sets the scene for all the losses and wins To avoid my treating those years as enemies Give me that gentle tide washing over rocks