Steven

He has the biggest heart. He enjoys doing things for other people Just because it’s the right thing to do, and Knowing he made someone happy makes him happy too. He’ll do whatever he can to satisfy Everyone around him. But what about himself? He always says the right things at the right time. He’s the first to console an upset friend And take care of anyone who is in need. Why doesn’t he take care of himself? He’s the friendliest guy ever. Everywhere we go there’s always someone He waves to, or stops to have a conversation with. Making friends for him comes so naturally, It’s as if he was genetically wired to be so sociable. The friendships he has made are valued to him Like they are his very own gems to treasure. But why doesn’t he value himself? He can make anyone laugh with ease. Anyone that has ever been in his presence Can testify that not being amused, entertained, Or laughing until your stomach hurts Is never a problem. His humor is addictive in the sense That if it were a drug, just a taste of it Would drive you insane. How can he not see how much we love that about him? He’s extremely motivated. Always striving to get done what he needs to get done, He lines up the necessary steps to reach his goal. When he wants something bad enough He will go out and fight as much as he can until He is successful. Does he know how much he is capable of doing in the world? He’s like a protector to anyone he becomes close with. Never have I felt the stomach-twisting pain That fear tends to trigger when he’s around. He’ll make sure that if anyone ever Disrespects, hurts, or humiliates The people that are close to his heart, They will not get away with it. Why can’t he protect himself the way he does to others? He is the best liar I know. He has a way of tricking anyone Into believing even the craziest of stories And they won’t have the slightest idea That he is lying. How can he not see that his lies are pushing us away from him? He can be extremely manipulative. His words can blind you and He can convince you so flawlessly Of whatever he wants. Why doesn’t he realize he’s hurting everyone around him? He has a drug addiction. He craves the thrill and rush Of anything that will alter his current State of mind. Saying no has never been simple for him; It’s like his mind goes blank And the only thing he can think about Is how he can satisfy the urge to use. Does he even realize what he’s done to himself? He thinks he’s invincible. Even after rehab attempts, Multiple different occasions where jail time was needed, Endless amounts of money spent on drugs, Threats being made to him from gang members, Numerous phone calls and text messages from people wanting their money from him, And losing most of the people who have tried to help him over and over and over He will not stop. When will it stop? He’s fully aware of how many people he is hurting. He knows the affect his decisions have on others And how his actions shatter the hearts of the people who love him most, Causing them to put him in their past because they were sick of Him hypnotizing them with words they wanted to hear instead Or just telling them the truth. He realizes how many people he’s lost and how deeply he’s scarred Some of our hearts, Leaving us no choice but to give up and move without him. When will he realize that someday he could be doing this alone? He relies on drugs to temporarily numb the urgency of his own problems. It could be meth, heroine, or marijuana – Or maybe morphine, ecstasy, or Adderall – He’ll do them all and the consequences won’t falter his decision even slightly. It’s a daily chore to fund his addiction Along with mentally and emotionally distressing Due to the constant worry of his health or What he’s going to do while he’s under the influence. Will he ever take control over his addiction? He overdosed after an episode of binge drug use. He was found unconscious and pale crumbled on the bedroom floor With an empty bottle of pills to his left And a syringe still supplying heroine dangling from his arm. Why did he do this to himself? He’s been in the hospital for days now. The overdose has put him into a coma and No one knows what will happen next. Crowds of family and friends flow in and out of his room Tucked away in the intensive care unit Biting their nails, pacing the glossy floors, Staring at his lifeless body, or crying until their Minds grow restless and weak. The doctors have no reassuring words to reduce our anxiety, They only tell us to keep our heads held high And pray for a miracle. Did he even think this many people cared about him? He’s been taken from us sooner than he should have been. His eyes are closed and his body is finally still And as I look down at him in his casket, trying to memorize Every last detail of him I can into my brain, I can’t help but wish that I were laying there with him. Is this what he wanted to happen? Maybe he finally realizes that his life could have been so much more. We’re all gathering around him for the last time Talking about the good times and the bad, While tears stream down everyone’s faces and The sickening feels of grief and sadness Settle into our guts. To lift our own spirits we lecture ourselves That he is in a better place now that he isn’t Battling his addiction, he isn’t in heaping piles of trouble., And he can finally be at peace with himself. He never cared about the state of his own being And his life has no slipped away From all the people who were desperately trying to keep him alive. Is he happy now? -t.j.t.