Spring Break Vi - Spectacular Miami Dinner

By day six I was antsy
Stayed in my room all morning

I knew this would happen

While the glass-shatter of the ocean waves
And yelps of surprise from scores of little kids
Drifted in
Through my opened balcony doors
From the beach below

Made the mistake of paying attention to my phone
And the more I did
It seemed
The more emails dinged
Like an elevator arriving at my floor.

Last night a waiter ruined it all
As my wife and I were showing off
Dining outdoors at a fancy restaurant.

At first he thought us hicks
With a giant yawn in front of us

But then we spent $15.00 x 4 Specialty Mules in chilled copper cups
And $27.00 on a spicy Tuna Tar-Tar special-of-the-night appetizer
Sea Bass 40 bucks
Rib Eye 45
He then brought an ashtray though I had no cigarette

Told him we’d finish it off right
With cheesecake scooped in homemade raspberry sauces $17.00

By then we’d been there an hour and a half
Though I made a deal with the waiter
Don’t rush us and we won’t rush you
He said deal

So the female manager delivered the delectable cheesecake
With the bill.

I handed over my card and asked for two spoons
Asked her if gratuity was included
Yes she said 18% and rolled her eyes
Flapped off

I added another 30

She swooped back like a seagull for a dropped French fry
Flew away with the signed bill

And just as we teetered up from our little table
Taut with white table cloth
To walk back to our hotel
Amongst the lighted jewels of Collins Avenue

The waiter popped his head out
And yelled across the patio packed with North Miami elite

Thank you for the extra tip!

I thought as if
He was just checking that we hadn’t made a dumb mistake
Or was using us
To shame the others.

That’s when I got homesick for Michigan
Because I wasn’t sure.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021



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