Spring Break Vi - Spectacular Miami Dinner

By day six I was antsy Stayed in my room all morning I knew this would happen While the glass-shatter of the ocean waves And yelps of surprise from scores of little kids Drifted in Through my opened balcony doors From the beach below Made the mistake of paying attention to my phone And the more I did It seemed The more emails dinged Like an elevator arriving at my floor. Last night a waiter ruined it all As my wife and I were showing off Dining outdoors at a fancy restaurant. At first he thought us hicks With a giant yawn in front of us But then we spent $15.00 x 4 Specialty Mules in chilled copper cups And $27.00 on a spicy Tuna Tar-Tar special-of-the-night appetizer Sea Bass 40 bucks Rib Eye 45 He then brought an ashtray though I had no cigarette Told him we’d finish it off right With cheesecake scooped in homemade raspberry sauces $17.00 By then we’d been there an hour and a half Though I made a deal with the waiter Don’t rush us and we won’t rush you He said deal So the female manager delivered the delectable cheesecake With the bill. I handed over my card and asked for two spoons Asked her if gratuity was included Yes she said 18% and rolled her eyes Flapped off I added another 30 She swooped back like a seagull for a dropped French fry Flew away with the signed bill And just as we teetered up from our little table Taut with white table cloth To walk back to our hotel Amongst the lighted jewels of Collins Avenue The waiter popped his head out And yelled across the patio packed with North Miami elite Thank you for the extra tip! I thought as if He was just checking that we hadn’t made a dumb mistake Or was using us To shame the others. That’s when I got homesick for Michigan Because I wasn’t sure.