Said the Girl, Sexual Pleasure Made Me Feel Cheap and Used

Said My distraught Mind, sexual pleasure has now left me blank My Life, my virginity, my honor, my desires and your wants. Traumatic these moments as I stall to deliberate. Whiles you’re in a scurry to violate my treasured possession. Flustering fear banging my heart, my eyes, my every muscle. My discipline keeping me in constant hesitation. Yet, I silently concede my most protected tenure in the name of love. With tears that you didn’t seem to notice, as 10 tons of rushing hormones crashing down on me, violating my every being, I struggle to exhale in fright. Now, I - a victim of my own weakness. You, a smirk spreads across your face your teeth clenched in ecstasy. whiles my mind devoured me. Leaves me in disarray. My eyes gazing in confusion, my nostrils smelling the foul air of rotten disgusting semen. In these said moments, musty sweat rolls off your wild ecstatic pleasured self, drips on me, makes me want to puke. Wait! You call this what? Lovemaking? Hell no! This is a sick stomach erupting plague. Could I hate myself more? Nope! His grin made me feel so used cheap and empty. Devastated by self guilt with every wink of my eyes, but I cannot hide from myself. He – nowhere to be found. His life is happy as a clam. He deflowered me and feels nothing but conceited pleasure. Now I wait the gossips to scar me for life, sneers that will only adding to my suffering. Should you be reading this – don’t let hormones steal your life. Emphatically! © Al Juman The "said" Poet 1/7/2019