Rudderless

Little drops of tears in my eyes well up As I feel the cold, into my bones seeping up I pull myself closer, trying to roll into a ball And build between me and the world, my little wall Everyone goes by, doing their mundane tasks About my troubles no one cares, nobody asks I lay there trying to make sense of everything around me How did I get to this place? Am I really me? I had a better life and for people I cared I had love in my life, I was never scared To step out into the world and fly high Into the beckoning light of a bright sky I had you with me, I had everything We were so much in love, so I’d sing Songs of happiness in my voice proud A voice that died when you left me in a crowd My days since then have been blurred at best I searched for you everywhere, without a seconds rest When I found you, you were in your world so happy You looked at me, with beautiful eyes that didn’t see me But I still had the will to fight for my only love true I tried to come near you, to talk to you But you shooed me away, as though I was a dog rabid And since then my deterioration was rapid I lay on the ground, bloodied and presumed dead What flows in my veins isn’t blood, just something red I have lost my will to live, too tired to even die The once raging torrents of tears have gone dry So I watch the world go by doing their mundane tasks I don’t care for anybody, don’t reply if someone talks I have lost the human being in me Who am I? Am I still me?