My Fearful Cycle
My life generally goes in a certain cycle
The way it flows leaves me disposed and rotten
But not before i'm buttered up
like a pig being fattened just to cook
I need to be reminded of what I have so when it's gone it'll hurt
The cycle usually starts off amazing
It starts with a feeling of complete happiness
I am always skeptical of my bliss
because I know in time it will fade like snow melts
See I often start wanting something
wanting something with my whole heart and soul
and usually because god is good to me I receive it
and I know how the story goes so I cherish it
but even as i'm cherishing it they're plotting
plotting to mess up what I have
Pretty soon the bee has stung
and i'm sitting outside on the ground all alone
again just like I was meant to
cause when I have something good
I can never hold onto it.
That's why I think i'm cursed to live
in this cycle and never go in reverse
Never get to savor.
Never get to settle.
Never bask in the moment.
The moments over too soon
I fear this cycle so much.
It's left me empty and hard
Friendless
Afriad of happiness.
It's left me searching for a loop hole
Copyright © Shahana Jackson | Year Posted 2006
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