Joan of Ark

Joan Of Ark Noah was a geyser, a bible kind of guy Wouldn’t take no messing from a vicious gospel sky He’d got the nod from Mr God to build a massive boat And save the beasts and birdies by keeping some afloat He gathered wood and sawed it and he banged in lots of nails He prayed and crossed his fingers, ‘I hope the damned thing sails’ And then there came some drops of rain but thankfully he’d made it The boat at last was built, it was time to populate it His list began with aardvark and he got as far as mole When his paper wasn’t long enough he used a toilet roll He knew that space was tight so he stacked them up in twos And then he panicked when he found he had no kangaroos When his mum in law got on, the boat tipped one up one end That really got his goat up cos she drove him round the bend So, referring to his ruling that said only two of each He hooked her on a crane and he dumped her on the beach But his wife looked like her mother and she ate more like a Gannett Not a great incentive to re-populate the planet But he’d made room for someone who would often make him groan She’s how he got his jollies so he called her Jolly Joan When he’s alone with Jolly Joan she never will refuse But this time Noah noticed that she seemed to have the blues She said I love you Noah, but like animals and shoes I rather hoped that EVERYTHING around here came in twos Noah shrugged, ‘I’m sorry but I’m six hundred years old This place smells like a barnyard and I’m freezing bloody cold’ She said, ‘I’ll have to warm you up to raise your ardour higher’ And then she pulled him closer, ‘Come on baby, light my fire’