Jealous

When i was 5 i couldn't have sleepovers I was so jealous of the older girls who could When i was 6 I couldn't wear makeup I was so jealous of the older girls who could When i was 7 I couldn't have a phone I was so jealous of the older girls who could When i was 8 i couldn't wear 2 piece bathing suits I was so jealous of the older girls who could When i was 9 i wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend I was so jealous of the older girls who could When i was 10 i wasn't allowed to have social media I was so jealous of the older girls who could Now im almost 16, I can wear makeup I can have a phone and wear two piece bathing suits I have a boyfriend and i have social media But for some reason im jealous of the 10 year old, The 10 year old who can't wait to grow up, but doesnt know the pain of it I'm jealous of the 9 year old, the 9 year old who thinks she found her soulmate but little does she know hell break her heart I'm jealous of the 8 year old, The one that wants to show off her body at the pool but can't and doesn't know its because her mom loves her I'm jealous of the 7 year old The one who holds their moms phone in the store as if it were theirs not knowing later a phone would be both her best friend and worst enemy I'm jealous of the 6 year old The one that begs her mom to buy her eyeshadow from claires, not knowing it's just the beginning I'm jealous of the 5 year old The one who wishes she could stay the night at someone's house. Not knowing her mom just wanted to keep her safe. They don't know the reality, the pain these things will bring Soon they will be looking in their phone camera with makeup on, and when they dont they dont feel like they are enough They will soon spend hours scrolling through social media, jealous of what they see Spending hours in their room, not wanting to leave. I should have lived in the moment, instead I lived in jealousy.