Impulsive Sway

Triggered by tiredness and strain Upon my wearisome, impaired brain My guard is down the strange drain Refrain from driving me insane Within me is the pain of betrayal So impulsive was my actions a while ago Within me is the insane feelings that fail To gladden my Lord…the Lord of joy aglow Remembrance of wickedness Has been saved by my afflictions and then…my repentance within Deliverance due to righteousness Has been keeping me safe from harm and hurt…slaying me with love again I gain a soreness inside my soul I am but a grain of salt, losing its taste My brain is far gone as a whole I love the angsty feelings of grace at haste Keep pace with my bitter heartbeats Greet me with open arms…with sunlit smiles… Difficulties arise as happiness repeats Meet me as I take a seat here, hit with trials… So many trials has perceived my eyesight and mindset It has filled me with upset and so much unneeded regret Worship God in all His wonderfulness, even if your heart moans in misery Bring me to life with Your cheer every year that I fear negativity will put out glee Know that I still want you to be free this time Just let go of doubt and hope away your fears Glow like the sun will during this summertime Just let go of the wintry frost of hatred and tears Humbly heal and belong in God’s right hand Understand that you’re stronger than you realize Our faith is as numerous as the beach sand Broken spirits will rise from the ashes before our eyes Change is a challenging chore, yes, as the saying goes since I was a young boy I colored my hair turquoise for the sake of weird self-expression and childlike joy I’m clever and creative and God wants me to go so far with it He doesn’t mind me falling a little low to help others in need, but He wants me to rise from where I sit All of our thought process Should give us some progress Relieve me from all distress Replace it with pure happiness For, I have been impulsive I’ll let go and let live…give… Give me a reason to live… Lord, You’re the reason I live and receive a life to relive Pray the devil won’t prey upon me again As I impulsively live life…hopefully I truly know where I’ll go in the long run… Then again, as I live my life, I count to ten Where have you been all my life? What have I done to hurt you? I just wanted to have fun… You made fun of me Because I lived life impulsively Now, I’m stronger than you… You who bullied me with rue You made fun of me Made a fool out of me honestly Anyhow, I’ll tell you true The reason I do these horrible things to myself is because of you Sorry to blame you though I impulsively wish otherwise My feelings flow to and fro I pray daily for my demise Sorry, God of grace, I let you down in this race Trace my disgrace no more My face is sopping with sweat and regret…as you soar evermore I wish I could soar with you in spirit I regret sinning against You heartlessly Anguish fell upon me as I truly saw fit My eyes are wet with remorse hoarsely Mourning for your Voice of Rejoice To drown away my impulsive difficulties Peace in and of mind is my choice To embrace and accept during my hardships at ease Please understand what I’m saying I’m praying that I get better in time The Havasu breeze blows on, swaying Into my heart, home-bound in its prime Conquer me with adoration to the core My quest is to be in this journey with You On my mind, heart, and all of me, even if change is a challenging chore forevermore I’ll try my best to be…no longer be impulsive in what I do Impulsively loving the negativity won’t do I’m impaired and oh so embarrassed Repeatedly praying…forgiving myself too Mentally and emotionally harassed By others because I love You Actions say it’s not true…that, I say is true…words without action strays I haven’t a clue what to do It bothers me to say this — you’re lost in your wandering ways these days Who knew I’d be lost without You Sorry I was impulsive all my life it seems I can mend with Your help and Your spirit beams Within me and out of me Without you, I’m not free Triggered by trials that drip on like rain Upon my wearisome, broken-down brain Figured out that I’ve been impulsively high For so long, my guard has been low, can’t deny If I was lying, You’d know If I was dying, It would show If I was trying, I’d reap what I sow If I was crying, You’d shed sunlight aglow Let Your faith grow Let distress go You know what I mean Let happiness intervene What’s seen is left unseen For those who are impulsively obscene In my teens and beyond, I can’t deny this to my dismay I was impulsive as a wild, broken wand… I vow this too — you will be okay Under your spell of impulsive sway But, remember, we’ll be okay, okay? I’m drunk with depression and angry with anxiety Just know that joy will come if you let God in freely