I Should Have Been a Beat Poet

I should have been a Beat Poet I should have been a Beat Poet Like Ginsberg or Ferlinghetti They were good but not that great Oh, maybe I'm being petty. I could have driven across the States Like Cassady and Kerouac But couldn’t bear weeks on end Jammed in battered Cadillac Living on beer and cigarettes Sleeping under a hedge, I really prefer a comfy bed And I need my meat and veg. I don’t smoke much or really drink A lot of alcohol And drugs, well I am worried That they would take their toll. So, although the idea of dropping out Is one with real appeal, Is all that existential angst Essential to the deal? I have a beard so that’s a start And a denim shirt or two A pair of worn out 501s In that stylish, vintage blue. But is it really necessary To embrace the seamier side? Couldn’t one write poetry Having had an easier ride? I’ve seen the films and read the books Surely that’s enough Research for a verse or two It shouldn’t be that tough I could have been a Bahai, I listen to “Thought for the Day” Or a Catholic, Jew or Vishnu, Well what I’m trying to say Is, that faith is now a lifestyle choice Like a car or mobile phone; A tribal badge to identify You’re a yuppie, punk, or sloane For as we strut Life's High Street Consumed by rampant consumerism, Is it a socialist lack of pies Signifying nothing, a mere spoonerism, Or a repressive Capitalist Plot; A new opiate of the masses To avoid the inevitable truth That we're wading through molasses? Now I didn’t have to blow my brain With mind expanding drugs, Or travel to a sink estate And live among the thugs To pose these twenty-first-century woes Or postulate their cause; I managed sitting home in comfort It flowed without a pause. But really I’m just kidding This is pseudo psycho-babble No more intellectual Than a game of junior scrabble So no, I couldn’t be a Beat Poet Like Ginsberg or Ferlinghetti. Even the very thought of it Makes me feel all hot and sweaty. I’ll stick to writing doggerel From the comfort of my home And you never know one day It may form an amusing tome.