I Put That Stuff On Everything

I put to you a tale of two sheep tepidly beside themselves with fraught. Now who was who and which was which... It simply matters not. But suffice to say, they were both dismayed For the amelioration they both sought. So in a far off land beyond the hills, There lived these woolly sheep. Now the poor things were very tired And were feeling bushed and beat. As this should come as no surprise... They had gone five days bereft of sleep. "We are deep in trouble," One sheep exclaimed. "I am overcome with grief. There must be some creature about Who could aid in our relief? For as sure as the sun will rise again... We will soon perish bereft of sleep." "By golly. That's it," said the other sheep With a twinkle in its eye. "There is an Owl who lives in Pecker Wood Who is both sapient and wise. She will end this nocturnal drought Before we croak and die." The sheep made their way as best they could With their energy so vastly drained. Their eyes were as heavy as a Potter's stone And they could barely stand the strain. As they sloshed up the muddy trail Still precipitously wet from a morning rain. But their search was bare and fruitless As the Owl was nowhere to be seen. They wondered through a forest of trees With all different shades of green. Where they came upon three critters Who were looking gaunt and lean. The sheep greeted the Wild Cat, Wolf, and Beaver And told them a story filled with woe. Their lack of sleep was most disturbing And they were not sure where they should go. The Beaver said, "You should come with me... You will sleep as we watch our river flow." Now the Wild Cat stroked her whiskers And said, "I will promise you a treat. Don't let it be said, you should go to your beds Without a fine meal for you to eat. And with your stomachs full, it just makes sense... You will both quickly fall asleep." "Please ignore their simple musings," As the Wolf had the final say. "I have a backpack filled with all we need To help you sleep without delay. And what I have, I will gladly share If you follow me this day." The Wolf turned around and trotted off With the woolly sheep a happy pair. Both eager for him to help them sleep And put an end to their despair. When the Wolf let out a vociferous howl... "My leg is caught in a hunter's snare!" One of the sheep gave in to panic and yelled, "The poor Wolf has lost this fight. And if he should die, our cause is lost, We will go without sleep another night." "Check his backpack, just in case," said the other. "We may find something to ease his plight." The sheep went through the Wolf's backpack And pulled out some cutlery and floss. "Please hurry," said the frantic sheep. "Before the Wolf is lost." But all that remained for the sheep to find... Was some Frank's Red Hot Chili Sauce. The sheep had a taste and smacked their lips For a condiment they would use without delay. And looking at each other... they decided To use it on some unsuspecting prey. Then turning to the Wolf... they mischievously said, "Sorry, this is not your lucky day." So when you're tired and the day is done And find yourself bereft of sleep. Don't put your trust in what your Mother said And count some legs of mutton as they leap. But bear in mind the Wolf's last thought... "You can't trust no freakin' sheep." The End