How Christmas Almost Wasn't

It's Christmas Eve at the North Pole, But everybody is resting, And Santa's sleigh's not been loaded Because the elves are protesting. They're demanding better wages, A four-day work week, more vacations, Stock options, and health care, And union representation. The toy factory is dark, The assembly line stilled, And heaped up all around Are stacks of orders unfilled. Santa blusters and fumes, But to little avail, Even when he hotly threatens To have the whole crew thrown in jail. Mrs. Claus attempts to arbitrate And to relieve some of the tension, But that just upsets the reindeer, And now they, too, are in dissension. But when Rudolf sticks his nose in, Declaring he won't guide the sleigh, Santa caves and honors their demands, And so saves Christmas Day. With a cheer the elves get back to work, And the sleigh they quickly pack. Then Santa climbs in with a smug little grin And gives his whip a crack. Away he goes shouting "Ho! Ho! Ho!", Some elves capturing it all on their iPhones So this trip they'll remember when comes next December And they've all been replaced by delivery drones. But the toys, at least, will be delivered, And everything has turned out right. So Merry Christmas to us, one and all, And to all of us good night. Happy Holidays to all you boys and girls on Poetry Soup...