Heart of Darkness
i realised for the first time today what a harpy i am –
what a bitter, wicked harridan...
i recognised, at last, the depths of my enigmatic evil
...and it was shocking, i can’t deny it;
to realize how easily cruelty comes to me,
slipping off my tongue like drops of mercury
or venom from a cobra’s fangs…
it’s so much a part of me I don’t even know I’m doing it –
I just wade right in and slaughter souls,
And stick harpoons into innocent hearts,
As easy as I breathe or clear my throat or sleep
And then later, when the fall-out comes, and I am berated
And bombarded with vitriol, I sit back and foolishly wonder why
Like a blind woman I just don’t see my bleak truth
I cannot comprehend the pain I have caused
…empathy is a trait I don’t seem to have in stock,
And as for sympathizing with your sorrow, I simply can’t
Because all I see when I look at you is cowardice
And childish tears
And all I hear is the whine of a petulant fool
So no matter how much I may want to, how much I wish I could,
I can’t thaw out my heart, or soften these glacial eyes…
And when you attack me, as you should, I just fight back harder
And crush you a little further into the suffocating sand
And then, indifferent, wipe your blood from my hands –
And calmly walk away
Copyright © Amy Van De Casteele | Year Posted 2009
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