Happy Birthday Jan

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Happy birthday to a lovely lady called Jan Who's a poet from The Isle of Man So please raise your glass To a very nice lass Burn (s) the candle at both ends while you can. Have a great birthday Jan and enjoy Burns night, I've done you a few limericks, sorry I didn't have time to wrap them. MABEL. There was a thirty stone woman called Mabel Who liked to pole dance on her table She heard a loud crack Fell off broke her back Now cannot get up she's not able. MEG There was an old woman called Meg Had woodworm in her wooden leg The leg gave way She started to sway And hopped to the shop for a new peg. MATT. There was an old man called Matt Who lived on the tenth floor with his cat The cat chased a ball Out the window did fall Matt heard a meow then a splat. MURRAY. There was a young fellow called Murray Went out with his friends for a curry The curry was off He started to cough Ran off to the loo in a hurry. NELL. There was a young nurse called Nell Who was carrying a potty and she fell It went up in the air And all over her hair Now they avoid her because of the smell FARMER. There was an old farmer from Surrey Who was always running around in a hurry Got startled by a bell Tripped over and fell And ended up face down in some slurry. FRED. There was an old man called Fred Who spent most of the day in bed He lit up a smoke And started to choke Couldn't breath now he is dead.