Guilt

it's just the guilt of being me that makes the light too dim to see, that stands in the way of being free. that little spot that disagrees and brings me down on my knees is the same spot that begs and pleads for someone to pick up my apologies. the shadows in my eyes won't let me hide from the people i love so very dearly. my silence will show and distance will grow when i know they're seeing me clearly. viewing the world from a nosebleed seat because gutting guilt isn't discreet and it gets heavier with each person i meet. sweet and kind with an unsolved mind designed to dismantle every thought good or bad glad or sad till nothing means anything anymore. the guilt trips me up and i'm sorry. i know it's getting repetitive but i'm sorry. i don't mean to be so gloomy and i'm hoping you see through me because i just need someone to tell me not everything is my fault.