For my Son

I can hear your heartbeat inside me Even though you're gone. I prayed for you my whole life. You finally came, So full of love and light. We were always together. I thought we always would be. I took care of you, and you watched out for me. Then one day, everything changed. You didn't look at me the same way, You were always angry You were cruel. You wanted to hurt me with your words Like a thousand cuts. I sat there bleeding, Blood no one could see. I thought I would never recover and I was right, I never did. I wondered around by myself, Watching you with your new best friend Laughing, so happy. I tried to numb the loneliness, The emptiness the jealousy. I missed you. I missed you. My world turned dark. I sat there empty, ready to leave this world Because mine was gone . I had a dream you were a leaf in the wind Floating away from me, I ran and I ran and I tried to catch you But you were just out of reach I couldn't touch you , Even one last time I just wanted to you touch your hand Tell you I love you, I love you. I stopped, standing motionless Watching you. it was too late, I waited too long to reach you, To hear your heartbeat again when you were part of me. I could hear your voice An echo in my memory whispering in the wind, bye bye Mommy bye bye.