Fang Decay
Dracula needed dentures,
That's the story I've been told
The man was getting up in age,
Nearly seven centuries old!
He refused to see a dentist,
While losing his fatal bite
He soon became a laughing stock,
Not a soul feared him at night!
The Transylvanian Drooler,
His newly appointed name
He lost his reputation,
His bite was rather lame!
Each time he'd suck a neck,
His victims failed to succumb
He had no fangs to penetrate,
For all he could do was "gum!"
No more humiliation!
It was time to buy some teeth;
His remaining shred of dignity,
Sank to the gutters beneath!
A brand new set of choppers,
Created a lovely smile
Soaring back to action,
Has always been his style!
Behold, another damsel,
How could she escape?
He swooped around the corner,
Binding her with his cape!
He took one mighty bite,
With very little effect
When he tried to pull away,
His teeth were stuck in her neck!
His face turned red as a beacon,
What a mockery to the undead
His victim cried with laughter,
Then smacked him across the head!
Dracula quit the business,
Heeding retirement's call
Suckin' down Bloody Marys,
Toothless and gummin' a straw!
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