Family Love Lesson

I'm lost for words, do I suppose to feel this way about my detached family Mother and brother with their weird dynamic duo relationship My father has a whole another family or two he's managing Perplexed by my young adult children with their selfish ways towards me My love has been taken for granted; betrayed by conditional lovers I loved them unconditionally with all my heart still to this present day The way I've been treated, had me to become numb to silent The DNA test seems only good for ancestry or hidden family connections "Blood thicker than mud" is just an illusion to me when it comes to my family I would have been more relieved if I was adopted; detachment explained At this present time I'm homeless without any genuine help My mom want me around because she's lonely a lot of the times My father lost for words most of the times we converse Brother want me around to show off and brag about what I don't have Daughter want me around for emergency baby sitter for her children Son locked up and need me to keep account with commissary monies I asked out loud, "Why would I be in a family dynamic like this" The energy is heavy and draining when I'm in any of there presence Knowing I deserve better, but not feeling spiteful or resentment My family was all I knew; now realizing I have to let them go Lesson that love is not suppose to cause pain, confusion or revenge Lesson to stop love from being the core for change in my world Lesson how forces work through your family to discredit love Lesson of dark generational curse to stray me to hate for self destruction Lesson for a practice run to prepare for a family life I deserve Lesson to destroy me as a soul with love for humanity(unity) Lesson for hate to be inflicted to weight heavy on my heart Lesson to give up on love, turn to materialism Lesson of survival to be an example of a spiritual warrior It was lessons for courage to survive with unconditional love for self/others Despite the fated lessons still I smile with gratitude Evolution at its finest as lessons stimulate my growth to remain in love All is forgiven; no hard feelings and love(GOD) will always live within me.