Experiencing Something New

Having these feelings that im not to sure its ok for me to be having. Knowing that its not where i'm suppose to be for for some reason want to be. Feeling that im comitting a crime against myself for lusting after what it not rightfully mineWHAT SHOULD I DO? never in a million years would ever be able to walk away from what i already have but feeling like here is not where im truthfully wanted. Lost and confused cause it seems that it always plays out this way and i end up back in this same situation. every time my perfect turns into reality here comes another perfect that i want to be apart of I CANT CONTROL MYSELF. Lock me away and put me in a place where i cant keep causing pain to my self and others it feels like a game once you when one level u head to the next. What kind of person have i become allowing myself to be this way and not really feel any kind of sorrow for those i involve. SELFISH of me to be this way.