Eve and the Apple
Have you ever wanted something so bad?
because you know you can't have it
motherhood is something I'm expected to conform to
I never liked to conform, yet I always did
being a mum was always on my timeline
though it was always fluctuating, as was the guy
but finally I have, the right guy, the perfect guy
and I'm forced to rip out his tortured heart
I have to look my god given soulmate in the eye
and utter the shattering words that I'm infertile
I'm infertile, the pain of writing it stings my spirit
so how on god's green earth am I suppose to say it
I now understand why Eve reached for the apple,
it's biologically driven into us since we were kids
if someone tells us we can't have something
all we want, is to have it, even if that person is god
though it was an act of defiance, I'm proud you picked the apple
even though women around the world say you screwed us
because we're the ones that have to suffer,
suffer the periods, the cramps, the dreaded birth
what they don't realise is you gave us a gift
an ability that only one man in history has ever acquired
the earthshaking ability to create life
and these women take it for granted
the only quotes I like are from the bible
but the one I related to the most is,
"you don't know what you've got until it's gone"
a quote so simple and known that people brush it off
I never wanted kids that badly, but now I can't
there's nothing more in existence I want more
the hope, the dream is in the forefront of my brain
playing over and over and it'll never go away
knowing that a tiny human, half me, half him will never be born
that a part of me will never get to live on
that the bloodline dies with an only child like me
the notion freezes my body in time and space
if I'm unable to come to terms with this nightmare
how can I tell my other half, that I can't gift him someone that's half him
it seems impossible, as I've always encapsulated my faith in God and Jesus
how can I trust this denomination, if it's betrayed my right to conform
why did Eve's saint-like act jump, hop and skip over me
why can't I do, what I was made do to, born to do
did I piss of the tall and mighty man in the sky
the one I've devoted my wisdom, fortune, and luck to
am I being punished for something I did or didn't do
why can't I be punished with, the cramps, the morning sickness,
the insomnia, parenthood, and everything else instead
God punish me like you punished Eve, please
punish me like you punished Eve
Copyright © Maeve McCollins | Year Posted 2024
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