Home » Poems » Sotto Poet » Epitaph-Unraveled Words

Epitaph-Unraveled Words



trickling streams   enlist fingers stroke
translating silent stares script air bubbles

soul skirmishes   dying   and breath twitches
her amort jabs shatter blind eyes

soft breaths   linger aphonic   sighs
surfboarding alongside rocky creeks

you wish to decry me with   metaphors
whispered secrets   shared solely betwixt us

words untied    weighed by fireflies glow
bemoaning to aurify   amid fiery   solar flares

hoping for air in a pathless stream
let me shed words from   balm of dry lips

you said that   you might catch them

I've seen the way a glass dances, though
slips through your fingers   and shatters 

I hear a forlorn violin   pluck its strings
catacombs lurk in a hollow cage

when it beleaguers, it wails and shrieks
an uncaged spirit walks with a dog

left, just a beshrew echo in a silent world

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Sara Kendrick

Date: 5/13/2024 2:50:00 PM

Interesting winner. Congratulations. Sara K

Mark Massey

Date: 5/12/2024 6:10:00 AM

This is an excellent display of metaphors and personification, making this a captivating piece...your writing talent and verbal skills are in perfect sync here.

Silent One

Date: 5/8/2024 1:18:00 PM

The poem's use of metaphor and symbolism adds layers of meaning, with "metaphors whispered secrets" and "words untied weighed by fireflies glow" suggesting a yearning for connection and understanding. The imagery of "hoping for air in a pathless stream" and "shedding words from balm of dry lips" conveys a sense of desperation and longing for release. The final lines of the poem, with their imagery of a "forlorn violin" and "uncaged spirit," evoke a haunting sense of loneliness and isolation. The use of sound and rhythm throughout the poem adds to its emotional impact, creating a sense of tension and resonance that lingers in the reader's mind.

Ink Empress

Date: 5/8/2024 9:14:00 AM

Wow this is so good! I love your wordplay and also how you’ve written so many lines in this really stood out for me! Especially “ words untied weighed by fireflies glow” so creative and artistic! “I hear a forlorn violin pluck its strings catacombs lurk in a hollow cage ” as i read those lines i can hear too the forlorn violin and the music so evocative! And poignant plus powerful while also ensuring you maintain your usual use of poetic techniques that leaves us readers in awe! Love this!

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 5/8/2024 8:16:00 AM

I feel a sense of desolation, maybe even a sci-fi planet that struggles. Pertinent to our times and to care of mother earth. I enjoy this very creative poem.

Vijay Pandit

Date: 5/8/2024 5:56:00 AM

Wonderfully dwelling in thoughts released from a poetic mind, my friend. Superb images throughout. ---soft breaths linger aphonic sighs surfboarding alongside rocky creeks---words untied weighed by fireflies glow bemoaning to aurify amid fiery solar flares--so very lovely!

Duke Beaufort

Date: 5/8/2024 5:34:00 AM

SP, this poem seems like Side B (the opposite side) of what you presented in your previous post with the music Ode to Joy. It's a very interesting read on a situation where someone doesn't seem to be listening very well. That seems like a bit of a frustrating situation you capture so adroitly.

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 5/7/2024 2:32:00 PM

I enjoyed this atmospheric write. It has a haunting feeling to it.