Chastity Belt Fitter Part 2
Good tidings young maidens it is me
The chastity belt bespoke fitter
To all princess and queen
I could tell many a tale about the things I've seen
But alas the crusades are over
No need for chastity belts no more
I did good business when the men were at war.
I'm having a closing down sale
Many bargains I've made
It's ok your secrets with me
I still fit free
With pride and dignity.
Of course I might have to make a mould with my hands
To make a correct fit
But I've had plenty of practice and been about a bit.
So come on you wenches and fair maidens
Come lay on my couch
And I'll soon get around to fitting you out
Because there's talk of another war
The men will be fighting again away
My sizes range from small to extra large
With no extra charge
Free can opener if you lose the key
And I'm readily available in an emergency
What ever that emergency maybe.
See me advertise in ye olde Cosmo magazine
With a picture of a massive one I fitted for the queen
I also sell armoured breast belts
With lock and key of course I'll have to measure
And mould your wares on display
I do that for fun you don't have to pay.
Ok Ladies I'll stay open and not close down
A new crusade has started and I'm the only man left around
Send me a E arrow or a talkagram
And I travel to please you from olde Nottingham town.
Any offers?.
Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Aug.
Copyright © Peter Dome | Year Posted 2014
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment