Am I Crazy?
Am I crazy
if it’s been five years
and I still expect you to walk through the door?
If I can’t give away your clothes
because you might need them?
Am I over the line
if I fantasize that your treatment worked
and you never died at all?
And I laugh with you over breakfast
while we sip coffee
as we always did?
I’m afraid to tell people
that I saw a perfect birthday gift for you
and thought I should buy it.
And that I can’t stop thinking about
the trip to the Bahamas we always wanted to go on
and that this winter would be the perfect time.
Letting go is harder than I ever imagined
and I don’t want to.
If this is crazy
then please let me be mad.
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