Alive

Alive (how do I know) I knew I was alive Not from the pain Of giving birth Not from the excruciating Re-occurring tooth ache Sometimes its things like this- That makes you call on death I knew I was alive - Though I did not feel alive- I felt no pulse Like when I Was kidnapped -- Nor the day she stabbed And killed my brother- Not when they sentenced me Black male child For trying to be a hero. - Somehow I knew I was alive because of Little insignificant things- Little things -that opened my eyes Such as Robotic moves - A glimpse of The mundane these things Made me aware-of Where the illusions end And real life begins More times than not The heavy loads are Too painful to digest- So, I focus On the insignificant Like when the man pushed His glasses upon his nose. But not when the weather Was below zero- and cold I knew one day the Tragedies would cease And that feeling of Living would increase That one day despite All these pitfalls And stumbling blocks I finally realize That I am alive When I saw a man push His glasses upon his nose. I knew I was alive when I saw the woman eating Cheese-less Cheetos One day life flashed A warning button Alerting me that This life is real Yet there were no rules attached Life is complicated without rules And even with rules Life is still an unfair game A complicated game of chance. I made two babies Laughed as much as I could Without appearing insane Sat through a few movies Read only what and when I wanted- only When I wanted. I was busy writing A bunch of poems I wanted to dance every day The only sacrifice I made Was sometimes I wouldn't let myself ... I wanted to leave right After the dancing stopped Still knew I was a Living being when I saw how I stayed on The minds of the babies. Babies never forget me. The child ran toward me. He had on training pants He could not have Been any more than Three -or a bit more - No more than four. He ran to me as I had been gone for so long But he was gleefully greeting Me - how could he remember me.? He was only one year old When I left town. The other kid came over to help me But he charged me two dollars I said" I thought you were Helping me from your heart" "I am"; He Said "but I still need two-dollars “ That was real. The only thing acting up on my Computer is the software That keeps my “puter” From acting up. I knew when I saw him The man - pushing his glasses Up on his nose. It was then That I knew that I was still alive .. This must be my test. A child asks for two dollars To help me from his heart My maintenance software Opens to error messages- Man, pushes glasses up On his nose-incidentally- It was at these crucial points I now know my life Is not an illusion- But that is how - Somehow - That is how - I know I am alive - How bout you? Copyright ©2015 Vicki Acquah