Abused

It could have been a beautiful memory to write down Walking hand in hand with mama My long brown french pleats bouncing in the wind My new red plastic boots ready to be shown. Reaching high upon my tiptoes ... I swung the large french brass knob back and forth until my short chubby sweet nonna opened the door. As soon as I saw her, my hazel eyes changed into different shades of caramel swirl. I am her first born niece, and her little girl. It could have been a beautiful memory to write down Running up those marbled tiles , gazing through the hallway at the two dark giant iron knights . How I wish I could have been like them , just as brave and wise. In the busy kitchen I hugged nonna over and over again I loved how her apple and cinnamon pies wafted ,filling Saturdays 'air. I loved the teaspoon sounds , as the sugar in the coffee cup was stirred It was a symphony , blissful music to my ear. Next to mama ,in the dining room , on a padded orange rexine chair I sat Playing snakes and ladders whilst I heard them chat. It could have been a beautiful memory to write down If I had not followed uncle Bob that afternoon Along the long corridor we walked , to his room At the far end, Inside, I was promised a delightful surprise. The red velvet curtains He shut down. All turned dark ! The squeaky old door slammed . I could listen to the fast rapid beating of his vacant heart. I could feel him getting close , too close . I could smell his stinking breath and feel his hand It slipped hungrily , unbuttoning my innocence and collar shirt. He pushed me down on my knees, head and face both pressed. My lollipop lips too close to sour scents , I would never forget. Everynight cold in my bed , I scream - Regret... I do not want to remember, yet how can I forget It could have been a beautiful memory to write down But all I have is a blank page. In that house of nonna where once I laughed and played All there is are secrets , insecurity, my shadow and its shame. Fiction poem inspired by Becca's contest against Child Abuse... Not for the contest, but thanks for the inspiration.