A Lonely-Child Stranger Dancing Near The River

{"I want to be at arm's length of people because I have met you. You reflect on what I believe and disbelieve. You introduce me to a sacred hollow shallow cage you call your childhood home. However, I still hear the replenishment of a child’s cries and screams no matter how much you try to camouflage it. Throw a blanket over so nobody could bear to witness. Though sensations often don’t hide away in the illuminating dark corners of the hallways. You fish out the opportunity to ruin me, for me to lie in the ruins of you also. However, when the vein in my heart cracks, there is no going back from the rim of the wound and gauze that incorporates my blood that leaks at the bottom of this despondency. Though when the vein in my heart cracks, you should know Houston, there is no going back, for I am to lay beneath the shadows for them to engulf me in my deepest secrets becoming revealed for all to see and all to hear, within an arm's length they near. After all, my name is engraved into the bulletin board at an inevitable school foundation, where all lies shed from, where insecurities are projected onto each other as they howl in laughter at the girl who fell from her chair, the tickling sensation beneath my throat was far from existent, so I lay low like I always have, to save myself from the embarrassment of being my self. Once I surrender myself in the arms of a loved one, there is no going back again, I secure my feet so they don’t run at full speed, dart through the alleyways, invariably on the run away from my intrusive thoughts, always question, always wondering the severe and worst possibilities of what can go wrong on the way home. In the kitchen, where we blast through with rage, where all fights and screams and thrashes are made and they take place never in a secondary place, never an alternative one. So I figure that I could live without you, I can indeed breathe without your presence looming over my shoulder as the devil in disguise would. Every time I opened my heart out to you, you would discard it, the possibility of it hurting seeming surreal to you, a far-off possibility. I project my insecurities, you offer me the benefit of the doubt as if I were a foul play, and they were a made-up excuse resulting from my childlike imagination. I know you expect perfection from the river to the sea, yet you should've known, always put into consideration that I am far from being perfect, so you told and promised me over and throughout, as the train rumbled above us thoughtlessly, even though we were hard of hearing at the exact moment. I could understand what you said by the way your lips moved, with your knees almost buckling by the sound, that you would never leave me astray and I believed you for only a second that seemed to last a long lifetime. As your arms sealed over me, engulfing me with your distortion, Edging towards the cliff, Overlooking the Mediterranean As the fear washed away and the weight of trepidation fell from my overclouded mind and shoulders, Paradise founded upon the rims and soles of our feet, My eyes closed before you pushed me, and I drowned. Darkness, You betrayed yourself to the intoxicating darkness that lies deep in your core ever since, and it reflected off of me in waves, Though I kept my mouth shut all along, you introduced me to the evil that lies in your heart, So I met what being kept in the darkness your whole life became of. A lonely child stranger dancing near the river, tears threatening to plunge is what I’ve come across, Eyes closed, I inhaled your pain.}