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A New Years Resolution to Leave Dundee
Welcome! thrice welcome! to the year 1893,
For it is the year I intend to leave Dundee,
Owing to the treatment I receive,
Which does my heart sadly grieve.

Every morning when I go out
The ignorant rabble they do shout
'There goes Mad McGonagall'
In derisive shouts as loud as they can bawl,
And lifts stones and snowballs, throws them at me;
And such actions are shameful to be heard in the city of Dundee.

And I'm ashamed, kind Christians, to confess
That from the Magistrates I can get no redress.

Therefore I have made up my mind in the year of 1893
To leave the ancient City of Dundee,
Because the citizens and me cannot agree.

The reason why? -- because they disrespect me,
Which makes me feel rather discontent.

Therefore to leave them I am bent;
And I will make my arrangements without delay,
And leave Dundee some early day.
Written by: William Topaz McGonagall

Book: Shattered Sighs