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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Richard Chessick, John Gedo, James Grotstein and Vamik Voltan What darknesses have you lit up for me What depths of infinite space plumbed With your finely honed probes What days of unending distress lightened With your wisdom, skills and jouissance? Conquistadores of the unconscious For three decades how often have I come to you And from your teachings gathered the manna Of meaning eluding me alone in my northern eyrie? Chance or God’s guidance – being a poet I chose the latter – Brought me to dip my ankle like an amah’s blessing Into the Holy Ganges of prelude and grosse fuge Of ego and unconscious, wandering alone In uncharted waters and faltering Until I raised my hand and found it grasped By your firm fingers pulling inexorably shoreward. Did I know, how could I know, madness Would descend on my family, first a sad grandfather Who had wrought destruction on three generations Including our children’s? I locked with the horns of madness, Trusted my learning, won from you at whose feet I sat Alone and in spirit; yet not once did you let me down, In ward rounds, staying on after the other visitors – How few and lost – had gone, chatting to a charge nurse While together we made our case To the well meaning but unenlightened psychiatrist, Chair of the department no less, grumbling good-naturedly At our fumbling formulations of splitting as a diagnostic aid. When Cyril’s nightmare vision of me in a white coat Leading a posse of nurses chasing him round his flat With a flotilla of ambulances on witches’ brooms Bringing his psychotic core to the fore and The departmental chairman finally signing the form. Cyril discharged on Largactil survived two years To die on a dual carriageway ‘high on morphine’ And I learned healing is caring as much as knowing, The slow hard lesson of a lifetime, the concentration Of a chess master, the footwork of a dancer, The patience of a scholar and a saint’s humility, While I have only a poet’s quickness, a journalist’s Ability to speed-read and the clumsiness Of a circus clown.
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