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Pride and Wonder
I told the nun in charge of Religious Education If asked about sexual orientation I will say I'm gay. I want to teach deep listening learning not how not to lie. She wonders why such forthrightness feels so important Are you a recruiter for gay pride? Are you a political activist? Gay pride makes as much sense to me as straight pride, as if our sexual orientations were something chosen, accomplished through heroic effort, like mental health in a too LeftYang Patriarchal culture forgetting Left with Right bilateral mindbodies are sacred gifts of karmic grace, to live here with now in this cosmically interdependent time as place. Yet, while gay or straight pride, maybe even transgender supremacy, feel competing bully inappropriate, given these are gifts not originating from our own accomplishment, so too shame and denial of whichever of these diverse non-predative victimless sexually co-passionate orientations greeted our FirstDay incarnation, call it PositivEnergy karma and call it ego-ecosystemic grace, I see no point in shame, nor even blaming a corrupt moral environment for who and where and why I am meant to sensory-spiritually become. To lie would be to teach shame for karmic grace as we deep learning listening are, and have been co-passionately non-violent born. My veiled and roundly black habited nun observes Sometimes what and how and who and why we learn to ego-ecologically love lies between orthodox happiness and heterodox despair. Rabbi Abraham Heschel taught sacred Love as Wonder and Awe experience Joy and Ecstasy their persuasive climax destination Toward a mystic flash of Teilhard's brilliant CoOperative Omega Pointed Bridge for reborn synergetic baptism, but this has not been my path or hoped for destination, certainly not warm regarding sexual co-passions as cause for voluptuous public celebrations and pride of wonder and awe I have of myself alone, or not, accomplished. Perhaps for Teacher Abraham Wonder and Awe and sacred Love, regardless of sexual passions, all three in one, reside between sacred WinWin healthy multiculturing hope and secular monoculturing LoseLose despair, pathological, totalitarian, fundamentally anti-evangelical. But, why would Rabbi Heschel be a teaching icon for a Catholic Religious Education Director? Who can still remember a Jewish girl child who knew more Deep Learning Wonder and Awesome Sacred Ecology than could be erased by MisEducation settling for bleached out lies against multiculturing mysticism, eco-spiritual matriotic experience of warm radiant days and dualdark NewMoon revolutionary nights. She double-snapped, pivoted, and sashayed away. Just as well. I could think of nothing else to say, gay or other wise.
Copyright © 2024 Gerald Dillenbeck. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs