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Boundary Issues As Opportunities
I wonder if everyone has a most dreaded dreamed nightmare worst way to conscientiously drop wrong dead. Mine is claustrophobi-recallish buried half alive at best is worse in a wooden rough pine crate. I'm feeling angry with those who raped, then buried me black in here, because I no longer have commercial value in a WeWin so YouLose ecopolitical market, and then return to becoming panic terrified because I can no longer half-dead breathe! My air is right exhausted, and I can't quite left remember if I am more afraid to die angry-conscious at ego- and anthro-anticentrism, or more afraid of losing untotal consciousness while being raped inside this claustrophobic crate where eco-consciousness can no longer erupt another breath remembering active history's preconscious hope. Honey. Really? You have to go all sarcastic on me just because I gently asked if you had a nightmare? So, yeah, there's that. Which feels profoundly sad and despairing, at least about wombs of ego-hope buried in rough pine coffins within Native American sacred ecological injustice as collateral damage for WhiteMale rule my own damned eco-forest! Some nights more deforesting tenuous relationships, testing mutual WinLose capacities for patience for Ego's time to be both here and now, some days, without my half-dead buried while raped pine box of RightBrain duarldark suppression, I can reach toward reweaving polypathic more polycultural outcomes reforesting restoring ego's peace with MotherEarth's ecojustice. That's nice, honey. What shall we have for our ecojustice deep rich breakfast? Nightmare identities have LeftBrain transparency problems and boundary issues and strange feelings of vulnerability as weakness of inappropriate scale and speed for revolutions, temporal flow-stream concerns conjoining back and forth across timeless time, as dualdark Witness of 4-Dimmed RealTime. Although not necessarily imagined in reverse order, appositional, oppositional bicameral, dipolar not quite so bipolar Left with Right not so much Left against Right communication, dualdark information. Angry monoculturing atoms avoiding fake ecopolitical good news gospels and fear-emptying waves of ego-thinned-yinned-out, LoseLose playing out, divesting backward rather than investing forward, RightBrain degenerative suppressions. Perhaps you might hope for a bit more restorative honey in your chamomile tea, dear. No longer personal hope for future active restorations, installations of ego-peace with ecojustice for EarthMothers and Allies, Left with Right, Yang with Yin rather than waving hostile competing flags of internal self half-allegiance, back matriotic and forth patriotic, like some kind of bipolar confusion as cognitive-affective self-perpetuating anti-enculturation of stressing dissonance. Yes, I hear the dissonance, dearest. Hang in there. I'm sure it'll all come out OK. Don't forget to flush. Oh my God! Mother Earth's climatic health womb is in pathological over-shoot! Supremacist violence of "I Win, so you are... Raped," then buried claustophobically half-dead, deforested, unlivable, without co-redeeming value, LosersLose DualDarkisms DisUniting Entropic Yang v Yin cosmologically dis-culturing DisGenerating Outcome Strings of YinFade-Out History, Black, Out and In Double-Boundary NightMare Issues. Yes dear, that's right, your hazelnuts are especially protected by double-boundary skins and shells before becoming hopelessly buried in MotherEarth's compost to rise again a bilateral at least somewhat rebalancing nut tree. When I consider restoration to sanity's ecopolitical standards, mutual climates of healthy cultures, and not so much pathological nightmares of underslept and overpopulated and raped and buried half-dead paranoia, I also hear an invitation within myself and with my local through global community, EarthTribe as my family of cousins, our nations and states and incorporated estates, to be less quick to only identify ourselves as victims of crimes against nature and nurture, without also more fully identifying diverse levels and stages and frames of perpetrator responsibility. We are invited to see ourselves as both the aborted and pine-box buried baby, but also as a community which has given birth to both of these EarthMother Victims and our own compatriot Offenses, settling for violence, investing in revenge, reiterative punishments, lack of restored peace, a plethora of cognitive-affective dissonance. And we are part of both my DeForesting Retributive NightMares and our most polypathic Mother Earth ReStorative Justice and Peace for and of ReForesting DayDreams. Speaking of which, dearest, I'm off into my EcoTherapeutic Day. Sounds like you need a nap, and probably more organic exercise. Righto. Don't forget, we're picking out our healthier kids today. That didn't sound exactly right honey. But I think I know what you mean. Bye! Bye-bye. Now, let's see. Spiritual Ecology: The Cry of the Earth, Thich Nhat Hanh, The nurturing bells of nutritional mindfulness are calling out to us, trying to wake us nightmare nuts up, reminding us to look deeply at our restorative and retributive impact on this matriarchal and patriarchal planet, and have more compassion for my own internal ecopolitical nightmare nights of dualdark bicamerally ecological cosmologies, both healthy and pathological.
Copyright © 2019 Gerald Dillenbeck. All Rights Reserved