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Dorm Love
Ours was daily mysterious, sometimes near mystical, rapture; a sensual yet platonic dorm-mate love affair, within the only male grad student corridor at SFSU. He was the presumably straight Vietnam veteran southern white good ol' boy, athletically studying Japanese, with a gentle passion for young Japanese women. Did his all things Japanese culture love precede his Vietnam War experience, or was this a response to West-East violence, inviting vulnerability and compassion? Embracing romantic remorse and male responsibility for technology's aggressive habits, but, regardless, knowing constant passion for peace. I don't recall ever asking which came first or did they co-arise. I do recall his first words. "Hi. Delighted to meet you," in a Louisiana-slash-MilitaryOfficerSchool creolic mashed-up engaging smile up across and through his raised blond eyebrows, guileless, or ruthlessly contrived, "Ensign Jake Ruford, Eastern Language student." Hi. just Jerry, gay epistemology student, wondering why we are roommates when I specifically said "Anyone not homophobic." You would think Student Residential Services at San Francisco State would know what the word means. Including probably not a straight Louisiana military officer even if he is Navy. As he turned back toward his desk, where he had been reading something that looked like a textbook in an encyclopedic hard-bound scale of inscrutability, "Do you agree human nature must have evolved from a bottom moral line of eat or become stew?" It seems we have this old reptilian thing about eating our young and vulnerable under duress, overpopulation or starvation of a struggling to hunt and gather species, especially before we figured out the matriarchal cooperative gathering parts and positions and principles. "I want to come back to those matriarchal parts later. But why, do you think, do we continue to see Golden Rule cooperativity, WinWin strategies, as contrasted favorably to WinLose sacred MightMakesRight Traditions of Always eat others before they eat you?" I don't think WinLose, much less LoseLose, Eat first and fast, because we all fall prey to death in our not quite foreseeable future, is authoritatively sacred, or exegetically scriptural, or fundamentally spiritual, nor even evangelically Christian, which was supposed to be about Good News of a God defined most ecologically, and satisfyingly, as love and beauty and polycultural Eden's Original Creator. "So you would give divine grace credit for why we sometimes beg for multicultural Golden Rule self-governance through WinWin inter-relationships, rather than continue eating our young?" No, I think premeditated organized violence through conscripting and criminalizing young adults is how we continue industriously eating our young. I give God credit for non-patriarchal Golden Rules, if you can find any without mutual assured violence, nor advocating Better Ballistics Bureaus. But, I give the Sacred Gaia Hypothesis and matriarchal creation stories and parables and poli-paradigms credit for existing and any future and most, if not all, past WinWin abundant interrelationships, rather than Mother Earth eating Her nurtured DNA regenerative Left and Right BiLaterally Balanced CoIntelligence, synonymous with Ego-EcoLogically Green through AquaMarine, and oxymoronic as Military WinWin Nutritional Intelligence. "Left and Right, like Yang and Yin. Which is kind of the opposite of LeftBrain dominant ideas like Maybe it's OK for hungry single Moms to sell their children into slavery to invest in better is cheaper dying through addicted chemistry." Yes, and other xenophobic behaviors, paranoias like homophobia and patriarchal "just war" theories. "How do you feel about Japanese ladies?" Hopefully about the same way you feel about profoundly non-separatistic gay gentlemen at the beginning of an AIDS epidemic. "That's an interesting, but dark, analogy. Are you coffee or tea?" I don't think I intended an analogy. Perhaps more of a eulogy for continuing civil relationships with much of anyone ever in risky futures absent most everyone I might have loved with love promising in equally rich colors. Coffee. If I have any idea where this inquisition came from or might be heading. "Oh, that's good. See, we already have something in common." Something. Yes. And so we went on from that first moment, as if resuming where we had just left off, or last eaten fragrant colors, with an Ensign I had never hoped to meet, much less eat, and would never wish to know a last farewell. Two travelers along love's mysterious, sometimes mystically ambiguous journey, soldiering on. Better thriving together, than surviving inscrutable textbooks apart. Ours was daily mysterious, sometimes near mystical rapture of coloring harmonies; a richly sensual yet deeply platonic love affair.
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