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The Surgery Room
The doctor left me. He left the tools on the desk, right beside my bed. I'll perform my own surgery, man. What do you say? I'll take out my brain! Rip the IV out, right out of my dark green veins— or are they maroon? I can't tell, but I don't care, I'll excise them too! I'll remove it all! The ghost in the room is my best friend. He is here when my rate goes flat. Got him for comfort like a stuffed animal. I shouldn't talk but I have gone insane, and everything has a voice now— even I can speak! Without fear; still alone; Doctor left; door is erased; Sharp tools on the desk! When my heart rate is flat, maybe I'll fit through the crack under the wall. I'm okay, man, it's fine! I'm rather excited to make an incision in me! Reach out; is that mine? My arm stretching out from this? I cannot feel it! You can hide but you cannot run, can't run, can't run away from yourself! Scalpel; the blade is so shiny, beautiful; watch it go right through my body! My wrist feels like it is being squeezed; I can't breathe! It is killing me! It drops from my hand and hits the floor. I can't hear. I see two blue eyes... My rate is not flat; It is a sphere like the earth! I've become something! I am floating high! I am gravity! I am life! Then, I feel a hand— A hand on my back holds me. I open my eyes; I'm being carried... "She's alive! alive! I spoke; she opened her eyes and I picked her up." Ha! I took much more than just a scalpel; you think the people in me would die that easy? I hold stitches in my hand to sew up his mouth! Stay a mystery. You can hide, but you can't run. I want you to hide! Never speak again! One, two, three, four, five stitches through your pretty lips. Fall down to the floor! Yeah, thanks so much, man, but I've got a ghost friend here. Oh no! I did this? Why the hell did I do this? I see the maroon all over the floor. Comfort possessed me again, like an animal... an animal cage... I thought I taped their mouths shut... I would have been fixed... "Ruin everything, Just like you know yourself for killing all the pests." "It will always be like this—be hard, be a war. Every voice is sharp."
Copyright © 2024 Ashlea Senft. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs