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This is a Crown of Sonnets I wrote about one of my favorite books and movies (the version in 1943 with Liz Taylor, who was only 11 had a small role, Joan Fontaine and Orson Welles is the best - John Houseman and Aldous Huxley wrote the screenplay) , yet my Crown was based on Charlotte Bronte's book Jane Eyre which was written nearly a hundred years earlier in 1847. A crown of sonnets is 7 sonnets intertwined where the last line of sonnet one becomes the first line of sonnet two etc. until the first line of sonnet one becomes the last line of sonnet 7. These were written in modern sonnet form (unequal line length and slanted rhyme, yet with an English Sonnet rhyme scheme)--doesn't get much more exciting - bet the goose bumps are uncontrollable! Here goes.
Jane Eyre Crown
I shall not live as in a room of red.
I was not born to be what others presume
and stay within that state until I am dead;
punished within my own hellish doom,
scratching at the walls that others built
and those which I construct to block them out
until my world becomes so cold and chilled
or in the darkness I dare not move about.
Who is this God that looks upon my form
and sees a child that never will a lady be;
will never visit peace where truth is sworn -
forever cursed to live among the Reeds.
None are truly orphaned in God's eyes,
those who "use" God will fashion their demise.
Those who "use" God will fashion their demise,
like Headmaster Brocklehurst used piety for gain
and ruled like many of his kind with tyranny and lies.
These lessons learned within my soul, forever will remain.
But, a gift of destiny would shine a loving light;
a friend who would forever reman in my heart -
Dear Hellen, who could find faith and hope in bleakest night
and spread her love and smile even on departing.
Here, in the midst of this tribulation
I found kindred spirits I had never known.
Helen and Ms. Temple, who both taught me patience,
so I left Lowood into a lady grown.
My image peers back from the dusty pane -
"Are you ready for what lies ahead Dear Jane?"
"Are you ready for what lies ahead Dear Jane?"
How much more could my brand be tempered;
how close to the fire before molten puddles remain;
how much of this life will I cherish when remembered;
or will these years pile upon me until I beg to leave"?
No matter, I will never bend to self pity,
nor gazing at my visage grieve,
or think my lot in life was petty.
This time at Thornfield, no matter what it brings,
whether I am queen or governess -
the only wound to soul that truly stings
are those that 'tween my self-worth slip.
Demeaning barbs like Lady Blanche had thrown,
are those like all the rest I've known.
Are those like all the rest I've known,
so hateful, why must they demean;
while Master Rochester - in his eyes I've seen a glow,
yet deep within are secrets still unseen.
Shadows that drift like a storm may never go,
like a raging fire to be quelled
and forbidden truths much too hot to hold
Disguised now as a gypsy, he'll foretell.
Could he truly find love in me and not Blanche,
and if so, should I flee my own yearnings
within which my spirit sings and dances.
But then, through all the rest of life, what have I learned?
Yet, this is caring and belonging I have never seen,
still, I cannot forget where I have been.
Still. I cannot forget where I have been.
Will I still be someway in servitude?
No matter what I wear, what will others see,
but if I run will regret forever be my mood?
No, I must marry this man I love - Adele - this place!
Where he is, is my only true home.
But, to the hidden truths I awake.
This secret kept, I will not condone,
this terrible burden now upon us,
a mad woman locked like the madness of us all;
this life of mine again unjust -
too much pain for one life to allot!
For my own sanity I must say goodbye.
Please Dear God, be with me - at my side.
Please dear God, be with me - at my side.
This place, this situation, I must flee,
if only to be more for more than pride;
but for my painful heart to believe.
At Marsh End I am at last equal.
Love and friendship have a guiltless exchange.
Here, I am no longer fearful,
still, I think of Thornfield where a part of me remains.
I know now that others love me for who I am
and my value in this world is real.
I've even been proposed to by another man,
so more hidden doubts can be unveiled.
The inheritance I received may be a sign
these trials I have endured are left behind.
These trials I have endured are left behind,
but not the value of lessons learned.
The journey henceforth is truly mine
to share with whom my passion yearns.
From far away, I feel Edward near
and go to find the castle in ruins.
What have I done - for my love I fear!
My head races with so many emotions,
this heart, this love, was pent up in anger,
in a world which I ... did not trust.
Within myself, and in his arms, there is no danger -
no walls to block his loving touch.
I am free from what I dread,
I shall not live within a room of red.
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