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Once Again, It Is He
For so long I have fought my monsters in the war lands. For so long I’ve been by myself in the wake of my chaos. Others tried to stand beside but shortly fell or shortly left. Too weak to hold their own. When I thought I’d be over come, when the war lands stared to fade in the corners of my eyes, and the visions of only the faces of my monsters started to loam over my body, he came. He stormed in, with all his glory. His armor was far from perfect, it didn’t shine like the exploding sun, it wasn’t unmarked and perfectly placed. It was rusted and dented, tainted, it bared all his battle wounds and shun as dimly as the moonlight behind stormy clouds. Finally another warrior, finally someone who can stand next to me. He empowered me, encouraged me. He stood next to me, standing tall and brave. A true warrior, standing in the middle of the battle, swords in each hand ready to take on anything. We stood side by side, backs together taken in each others presence. We exchange looks, and in that brief moment; such a hot, fiery passion flew through me. Not only did he captivated me, he took my breath away. And then the battle began. We fought, and fought and fought, for what seemed to be an entirety, but we won. For once in so long, my winter war of chaos seized and calmed, and spring had bloomed. Oh the glorious time to live and shine, and oh did he ever. His smile was as bright as the sun itself, and the heat that radiated off him melted my frozen heart. But all too soon, the calm ended, and the war began. The monsters fought back with more force than before, causing a chaotic wind to whip furiously around me; causing me to fight blindly. Alone and scared, I tried to fight and lash out. My screams swallowed by the whispers and howls of the wind. He was still there though. The warmth of his touched lingered in my body, I could still feel him holding my heart, helping it beat. He was there, and he was fighting. Once again I felt myself be empowered by him. Once again I was able to fight, with every little might in me, with everything I had. I gave it my all. Soon enough, the wind died down to a gentle breath and the dust started to clear. As my eyes started to adjust, the dust starts to clear, my wounds trying to close, I saw my opponent. I saw him. In the midst of the chaos, he turned on me. It was he, who was trying desperately to knock me down. I fall to my knees as a small whimper escaped my lips. “Why?” is all I can muster. I can still feel his warmth on my heart, but instead of a supportive hold; it’s turned into a suffocating squeeze. His eyes, once was a crystal blue and as deep as the ocean, is now crimson red and endless. His smile, oh his smile, that sent a blast of sunlight through my life, is now sickly and twisted with a darkly glow of hatred. I try to stand, though my legs don’t want to support me. I raise my head, though my tears are visibly seen. For even though I feel so weak, even though I want to crumble, I shall never give him that satisfactory. He will never see. His smile grew, and he leaped ready for the kill and I was ready too. I tried to fight, though I had nothing left in me, and he succeeded by knocking me down. He lashed at me, and I could feel my blood and life gush from my wounds. I close my eyes as I feel my monsters coming to rip my carcass apart, for my soul had died when he unveiled. Soon they clear, they retreat into the shadows of where they lye. Once again I’m alone, though I can still hear his sinister laugh exploding in the background. He and they will come once again. And once again, I will raise and fight with all my might Once again I’ll be knocked down and drained from old and new wounds Once again, it will still be he whom I’ll cry out for and want. He who I will weep for when the loneliness overcomes and suffocates. Once again, I shall die a thousand deaths, over and over, in the battle field, just to have a gaze of his presence. Once again; it is he.
Copyright © 2024 Noel Mcleod. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs