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A Child of My Own
A CHILD OF MY OWN I always dreamed about a day when I could have a boy; I felt somehow that this would be to me a special joy. I’d name him after me, I thought, and as through years he grew, I’d try to spend some time with him and many things we’d do. Though I was not a boy who liked the sports that others played, If my boy liked them, I would try to watch him every day. And though I didn’t bait my hooks and never liked to fish, If my boy wanted rod and reel, I’d try to grant his wish. And though I really liked a pool and often went to swim, If he would go some other place, I’d try to go with him. Yes, I would buy him toys and things, if those I could afford, But more than all these other things, I’d tell him of the Lord. I’d surely try to steer him from the sinful paths I walked, And as he grew we’d often sit and have a little talk. I’d want to be there on the day he asked Christ in his heart; I’d want to lead him to the Lord and help him make the start. I’d want to sit there in the church, and tears would fill my eyes As I watched him obey the Lord as he would be baptized. And if he felt the call of God upon his heart to go To full time service in some field, I’d be so proud, I know. Well, God did not think it was best to grant me all these dreams, And if I did not know Him well, how unfair it would seem. But maybe God knew other things that would have shattered me If He had granted me that son to sit there on my knee. Perhaps I would have seen the day when he rebelled and went Off to his own way and in sin so many days be spent. Or then perhaps I would not know the way to discipline; When he would disobey my voice, would I be fair to him? So though I never had a child, I trust God’s wisdom still, For I know that He knew the best, and so I trust His will. Some people told me to adopt, and we discussed this some, But that would not have been my child, my naturally born son. So though the branches on my tree will spread out never more, I trust this as the perfect will of my dear, loving Lord.
Copyright © 2024 Clarence Billheimer. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs