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Entertainment -Chapter 1-
I have been on the road of recovery once again Abandoned, but that’s alright – how have you been? I hope you well in all you do…I’m unlike any other man Remember the train who said “I think I can” – yes, I can Lost my train of thought since forever it seems I’ve let you down…guess what? I didn’t even have actual dreams That’s terrific…just epic… Give me a priceless kick… To get my motivation pumping… Bored out of my mind Pounding with unexpected dread… I have been seeing the unseen Putting it in God’s hands…so He can intervene In our lives…in my life… Sick of breaking out with sudden strife You’ve driven me up and down the hill of lackadaisical lands Putting it in His hands…putting it in Christ’s hands Hello… I can’t even hear my echo Hello… I’m the California breeze that will blow… Because the sun came out… After the clouds departed no doubt Everything happened so out of the blue… I hope you would’ve knew… Wouldn’t you even care anymore? Open up the door to something I adore; Oh Lord, what am I looking for? Am I just another closed door? I am opening up, But not enough My life is but umm’s and I dunno’s these days Follow me, God’s radiant, gracious and glorious rays I’ve taken You for granite and I’m sorry… I wish I can be adequately set free… Silence…leave me be… Let me grow like a marvelous tree… Leave me alone, emptiness Relieve me from distress… I feel as if I’ve grown numb I feel as if I’m stepping away It’s never too late It’s never too late Maybe, it was fate Vanished away… Fading away… Diminishing into nothingness… Evaporating like water on a hot floor I am fading…severely Felt jaded more than once Disappearing…frankly Waiting for a righteous response Well, I hope for the best I won’t detest and leave out all the rest I was so hopeless and guilty Let go of me…I can’t be… Set free… With you in mind… It leaves me blind… Irritated like a beast out of his cage I can’t just conceal this rage The jokes on me Fabulous…brilliant… Can’t you see That I am still significant? I was the entertainment of disdain and resentment Vengeance is not mine to take…no need for bewilderment I have become numb…but, I am not dumb Not dumb like a dirty floor, jam-packed with gum My life is in a hole A remnant of coal I’m sorry… I’ve let you down I smile still inside, But you don’t see this frown Killing me softly… I can hardly breathe…really… Don’t reveal secrets because gossip is something you can’t undo Just listen… Your eyes – they still glisten Tumultuous people I’ve seen… I am not only the color blue, but green Thanks, but I have been living life with procrastination and excuses I shouldn’t have played around with these…bizarre muses… I want to be cleansed with God’s Word… I do – but why did God allow me to be led astray? I am so absurd… God loves me… I know that greatly I’m sick, but I won’t tell them why I messed up – I’ve grown even shyer than shy I thought it was out of my league To get chronic fatigue… To be tired all the time – it is sad to succumb in this sadness So, I will not overwhelm myself with madness, but gladness But, first, let me sing… Trying to be faithful Trying to be grateful Got to face my fears… Got to hide these tears I’ve decided to move on Even though it was hours after dawn Lift my spirits’ sensation Build me up, my diamond that always fill my eyes with content I need God’s foundation Lies of me being ugly won’t make me feel handsome…so I will accept myself in my shoes…no more resentment…discouragement…I will try to do more fellowshipping and get a grip of my discernment…
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things