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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required With fifty-nine tears, I stare at the phone, wanting to understand. I had your voice in my hand. Intense pain now washes through our decade’s bones. I must be able to rinse it, cleanse it and restart with a stable heart. Always layers of hurt from you. Now there is another, my lost Brother. We may never meet again, not as siblings or as friends, yet you chose to bring our last call to a painful end! Distance and age whisper chilly to me of a certain possibility, this call could be the last call of all. I wonder, do you feel that, too? Does this sad truth also shadow you? In life’s darkness, two stars shine on; one is our Dad, the other, our Mom. Dad could not take your constant rift of frightening dread or bear your street life, so he mentally buried you in his head. Mom could not handle her first born living so forlorn, her maternal heart and head were torn. She could not sever the bond, so her enabling continued on. Neither parent was right or wrong. Unbearable pain made them desperate to survive your heartbreaking song. I never knew what to do, but I sought and fought to do it right. I would help, I would insist, but true help, you would resist. Each approach to coax you towards a healthy life ended with me tripping through your dark light. I’ve abandoned my hopeful persistence by accepting that I may never have brother-relief in this existence. For years my insides have churned as I daily pray for some informative word about your wellbeing. I've even called morgues in your state to learn if you were still among the living but no news ever shaped. I’ve had a lifetime of watching you fill your own spaces by selfishly passing thru daylight. Rather than climbing up to achieve a healthy need, you've always sat aground and caused yourself to bleed. Whether you’re in jail or living drugged on the streets, loving you has never known relief. I gave you my all, walked all your dark halls. Can’t we now have peace? Please bro, on some near tomorrow, borrow another phone. Call me and let us be the best of us, let us share love to enhance what is left of us. Look to your heart and grant what I want, one more, last call that love may be shown when next your voice is in my phone.
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