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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required In less than 12 hours I will be starting a new job. The first job I've had other than working for myself doing remodeling for years. Ever since I fell off a roof breaking my hip in two places and hyper extending my right shoulder. I tell you this not because I want sympathy. A prayer might be nice though. Yes a prayer would be great. I tell you this because I am absolutely terrified. Afraid I'll fail. I won't be able to cut it. Yet I went through the entire application process and drug screen and every thing else involved. And it took until right now for the doubt and fear to set in. This writing is different than anything I've ever done and I doubt there's anything poetic about it. But I needed to tell someone. And I hoped it could be you. The Great Pretender I pretend that I am strong when weak is what I am. I pretend I have no fear when fear is all I know. I pretend that I am laughing when I only want to cry. I pretend I'm having fun when I wish there was someplace to hide. I pretend that you don't know when I can sense you do. But still I don't pretend for me I pretend so you don't feel bad for me. I am the great pretender! I don't want to be alone but I don't want you in my pain. I may need your help but that doesn't make me want it. I pretend I am proud and dignified when both of those things left me long ago. I pretend that I'm not broken but I can't or maybe I won't hide it from me. I am the great pretender! I pretend everything is going to work out and that I am holding it together. I pretend that you can't see But I don't believe it. I pretend I'm not withdrawn while I hide in the shadows. I pretend that I'm not frightened but I am. I am afraid. I am the great pretender! I pretend I know I can tell you anything but I can't tell you everything. Because what if I did? What if I told you everything? Then you would know and you would be like me. You would confuse what I told you with what you think you know and then. And then we'd both be pretending. And then maybe someday you would pretend better than me but then you would be the great pretender and I would be lost again. Left to only pretend I'm pretending. No. I think it best if we just keep it real and let me go on pretending. Because I am the great pretender. ECH
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