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It's My Turn To Speak
"Hey,I give up" Ha! How easy that seems. A weight off my shoulders. A sigh of pure relief. "One more test and i'll scream" Only pain,noise,a quiet,so shrill Every time you touch me, A little more, you take. "I'm not begging anymore,you win" It's no point fighting, when you know you can never win. So come,I'm waiting,haha,see you win. "Dont let me wake up again,please" Could I say it with more ease. I couldn't be more welcoming. If I could,I'm sure even hell would freeze. "God,do you think you could take me away" Let me say bye and we can leave. I promise I'll behave. "Don't leave me like this" So cruelly you leave,making me wait another day. With doctors and their voodoo, With pain and just hate. "Be glad that you woke up today" So many people say. But God, how I wish, They'd choke and for a minute just feel my pain. "Oh!You poor sweet child" All their eyes filled with pity. Take that pity and leave. Before that pity fuels the killer in me. "It's fate,dont fight it" Yes I know that, you know. If I didnt,do you think, I'd be screaming into my pillow. "How selfish could you be" Oh,how I'd like to see, You walk in my shoes, and be just as selfish as me. "So what if I want to die" It's not like being here soothes you. It just makes you miserable. Yes,I know that's just what I do. "Let me be free." I deserve it dont you see, Cause i'm tired of bleeding and screaming. I just want to feel peace. "No,please,no more." No,not another needle I want to see. I'm done with these medicines. They give up,just as I think,maybe I'll get lucky, maybe this time, i'll win. "I'm sorry,i'm not superman,you see" But today you could pretend, It's kryptonite to me. If you take it away,I'll be supergirl,just like you need me to be. "Can you not cry." One more time and I swear ill start praying I die. It kills what's left,every tear that you bleed. I hate myself enough,please,wont you laugh for me. "You think I don't notice" All that pain,when you think I'm asleep Shaking and suffering every time you weep. I'm still human,I'm not dead yet,I can still see. "One last time, please, ust for me " Please dont die with me. What I can't have, do,that's the greatest gift you can give me, It's all I need. "No needles,no blood " No shivers and no fuss. Wouldn't that be something, Something,where nothing exists. "I love you,goodbye" It's time for me leave. But hey,that's OK cause I'll be watching you always.I'll never really leave. By Amanda Miller
Copyright © 2024 Amanda Miller. All Rights Reserved

Book: Reflection on the Important Things