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A Dark Cloud
Why do I cry when I don't feel like crying?
Only because my pain increases daily until
it became intolerable, indescribable over the days
it got worse.
Why do I laugh when I don't feel like laughing?
Only because I feel awkward in society the most
I wanted was to get away.
Why do I eat, when I don't feel like eating?
Only because my body wants to agonize
I feel i have a very long way to go in life.
Why do I drink when I don't feel like drinking?
Only because I have to humidify my dead body
& my tears will water the roses.
Why am I here when I don't want to be here?
Only because nobody wants me & I was
forbidden to travel.
Why do I stay when I don't want to stay?
Only because I have no choice I was unaccepted
& my freedom strangled.
Why do I miss when I don't want to miss?
Only because I want to suffer as i knew
what they wanted from me.
Why do I dream when I don't want to dream?
Only because my dreams are dreamless they
went down the drain.
Why do I feel lonely when I don't want to feel lonely?
Only because of my aloneness every moment changes
I get scary and cannot control my nerves.
Why do I phone when I don't want to phone?
Only because I miss the echo of a voice when
I answered that voice avoided me.
Why do I wake up when I don't feel like waking up?
Only because the bell rang just to relate to anybody
but there was nobody.
Why am I in pain when I don't feel like being in pain?
Only because my pain has no end it cant stop bleeding.
Why do I dress up when I don't feel like dressing up?
Only because I cant stay naked winter is at the door.
Why do I go out when I don't feel like going out?
Only because time has to pass away & my
memories have to fade astray.
Why was I born, when I don't feel alive?
Only because my mother helped me to
Why did I marry when I din't want a husband?
Only because I was forced to get married all
I wanted was to fly away as i couldn't stay.
Why am I in love when I don't feel like being
In love? only because I have to love anyone
and our love seemed inevitable.
Why do I run when I don't feel like running?
Only because the doctor told me so & someone
was following me, I got scared had to be gone
Why am I angry when I don't want to be angry?
Only because my thoughts are hurting my system
was a blur I couldn't wait for my fate..
Why am I a mother when I cant live with my children?
Only because I decided to run into the woods and hide,
because I am getting older and maybe I can die.
5/4/2013 (Win No. 4)
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