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The Belly's Reign
For Oliver’s: The Bard’s Birthday Contest 03/30/25 Julius Caesar – Act 1 Scene 2 Verse 190-195 Let me have men about me that are fat, Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights. Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look, He thinks too much; such men are dangerous. The belly’s reign Oh give me men who feast and snooze round soft bellies the ones I choose Feed them, feed them, give them fodder Fatten them and do not bother Never mind if they’re a plodder Not the lean ones, not that breed They ponder much, and worse, they read They have a different type of greed For the slender I have no place Though, they don’t take up much space Oh give me men who wine and dine Well- groomed with hair that shine Feed them, Feed them, give them tucker Avoid the ones inclined to pucker I don’t like their gaunt sharp stare from those slimmers just beware I want the ones with cushy cheeks Who snore and dream for weeks on weeks Feed them Feed them on demand One day they’ll need a gastric band Oh don’t give me men who never snooze No lavish meals and evening booze Weed them, weed them, shear their seed-head They’re invasive and tend to spread avid lean and envy green Dangerous like a fiery bean So let the plump stay by my side Chomping on a chicken fried I wonder if with this demarche I will survive The Ides of March
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