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My Apologies I just cant seem To Wrap my Head Around The way of the World
Now far be it from me to complain, I truly understand the world and for that most call me insane. At the very least unwell thats understandable trust me i get it but thats not because what I see its just because most cant see it I just can't vibe with the way things are I constantly argue with my self was I weak for letting my family do me wrong or was I strong for being there they way they ask me to even though i could see it going wrong and even told them and in response all i got was its prolly your fault. I know many had it worse than me i know we all have our battles and i have no monopoly on messed up kid status not in generation x when the goal was to kil us early so they can start the online control of the generation directly below me but that does not make it easier to accept that everything was taken from me when I was headed where I had always planned and toward the goals I set' again and again, I am shown how unimportant I am I try to lie to myself and convince my slf its right but it never has been and its ed up every aspect of my life how else do you go from almost was to never will be a halfway has been and for everyone's bad choices only I paid the price and it's like a family secret only its just a secret that they lie to everyone else cause no one wants to explain their self's and that's just the start of how the cruelty was put on me most my life I was to naive to see it or too trusting to want to believe it. My entire life I lied to myself making up stories about lessons I learned and quotes I had heard to make those who couldnt be bothered look good to peop;e other than myself which he treated better than me for as long as I can remember like I was every part he could not stand to see. Im sorry My apologies I just cant wrap my head around the idea that family would do this to me and its more common than not which has a lot to do with this messed up world then any one person would have thought but it takes a villiage to raise a kid and a household to raise the villiage idiot we have been made dim to convolute the knowledge that we have in us but thats a different issiue I have to sort out if I can live through this one maybe I will try to work that out.
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things