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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required CONT FROM PART 1 ... PART 2 THE WOMAN WHO COULD EAT WOOD When she was a fully grown woman she worried much less. She and her worried parents cried much less. For dinner, instead of ordering for herself Chinese, she ordered a chair. At the table in the wood kitchen, not in Portuguese, she told her proud parents she got a job (to help with the bills) at the local furniture dump the Taiwanese owned. There she’d eat all Santa’s rejected toys for reasonable fees. If Santa found out that parents had dumped their children’s wood toys about the government would get more than thumped. Santa would cancel Christmas forever! And yes, FOREVER! Anyway, Miss B kept quiet about Santa finding out. She made her parents sign a dump form that warned they too keep quiet like a dead rainbow trout. If they, and she didn’t, they’d be sent to jail and never GET OUT! So she made the best of her job (she was liked a lot) she quite liked. And her parents were happy she was making use and wasn’t disliked. One afternoon in the dump car park, in her car, B was kidnapped by a mean-looking elf named Mark who drove them afar to a weed-strewn car park. Along the way frightened B had cried, ‘How did Santa - oh how! - find out I’ve been eating his unwanted toys? How? How? How?’ ‘You’re a real dummy, B! Don’t you remember Santa is ALWAYS, NOW, watching, watching us. And you’ve been too naughty, so he sent me to stop you for good right now. Then HE WILL, HE WILL INDEED cancel X-mas,’ the elf yelled with a furious brow. ‘I’m s-s-sorry everyone,’ she let out, trembling with fear. The elf let her calm. ‘What can I do to make up for what I’ve done? PLEASE don’t hurt me! PLEASE don’t cancel X-mas fun for everyone!’ ‘It’s too late for sorry, B! You’re outré ability is, well, unforgivable, B! You’ve turned Santa in a madman, B!’ ‘Mark, I thought elves and Santa were supposed to be nice and forgiving but both your hearts are as hard as thick ice.’ Trembling with fear again for the evil look in Mark’s stygian eyes showed her clearly he’d soon turn her into pies. So she quickly opened the door and vamoosed across the asphalt of colossal size into the unpropitious woods that don’t compromise. She ran north through scrub unpleasant and prickly, ran under trees towering, leaning down to scare her away quickly, with their chomping mouths wide and sickly. TO BE CONTINUED ... in Part 3
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