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free to feel the way I feel
You don’t know how it feels To be misunderstood and jaded You won’t ever know till it kills you inside To you, I speak words of wisdom And it feels like I’m a million miles away Just to feel isolated and reach out to nothingness All these feels I feel, I feel, feel They are as sturdy as fine steel Believe in me and grieve not, love of mine Beloved and darling angel — you’re so fine And someone will love you like I do Someone will hate you and it’s true — You will fail, but will succeed later on in life I’m sorry for you and your life of strife…that stabs you like a jagged knife Heal us all, oh Lord, oh Father, oh God You’re my shield and You’re my rod I nod horizontally and vertically because I’m overwhelmed with mixed emotions A current in a thousand oceans…with chaos and commotions and pangs of painful potions and long lost devotions… Demolish that anguish inside Wish you well as you subside For now, Somehow… I take a vow I know I should let go Though… I can’t right now You bestow Blessings upon me anyhow Miracles upon you in the now Blessed breeze will blow I can’t let go…I’m sorry… I pray you’ll be safe and sound While I’m left behind on the ground With my knees scattered like bones in the desert of lies Crooked with your lullabies in my brain of your goodbyes My feels are unhealed for now… I’m not trying to be holier than thou I’m sorry I let You down once more There is more happiness and hope in store Romantic and manic… Considered schizophrenic There is calm in the panicky past of mine It becomes serpentine To me like the taste of sugar and wine It’s like a vine without its grapes Your harshness rapes my mind with rue I grew acquainted to accusations of you Maybe I should outgrow your negativity by now I vow you won’t be the sweat upon my brow Fiery desire and inevitable ire tires my soul Your empire of pain strangles me alive Passion and compassion interlace in my skull As a whole, we are beautiful and will survive Rivers and rhythms of your heartbeat Roams around in my mindset of regret It upsets me that your tears overflow I know you’re not alone, you know? Just know… You are the aftershocks of surviving a trial You are the rainbow after the storm of denial Vile vanity and impulsive profanity — a fallen angel that cannot be free The envy of the devil engulfed inside all of me…I just want to be full of glee Maybe, for an eternity and beyond of unconditional, endearing love As long as we fulfill our fretless, hopefulness bond I am fond of I follow your footsteps into the unknown Say something to lift me up for once I borrow blissfulness from you on my own Stray away from the darkness below Beneath the surface, there’s a rainbow That glows and flows like a river does Was I too much for you? I’m sorry if I was Was I truly too much to bear? Do you even care anymore? You’re the one I simply adore… Change is a challenging chore To the deepest, troublesome core But, what for if you abandon me so? Heal me Embrace me with hope I can cope with this disasterous, uncanny sensations As long as you live life to the best of your ability Heal you Heal the rue that creeps in on us Deliver us from fears As it appears We are souls that preserve perseverance Reassured that everything will be just fine As long as you dine with me, my divine angel of mine Cry no more, fly all the more Try to try again and try to try till you can’t do it anymore… I curse the dust I have become I have become awfully numb and frankly dumb Like coke and rum into the drunkard’s mouth of mischief and troublesome, terrible addictive behavior beyond immature and ludicrous I’m harnessing woe instead of wrapping myself in hope…hope you shine like the sun of vivaciousness I’m oddly satisfied with this poem I will keep it within like a Gemini’s gentility and gracious gem I’m fondly admiring you from afar and I’m wondering where you are I wish I could reach out to you, your shooting star of scars… woah, how you travel so far… Unfold my unbearably unbeatable wings of unstoppable invincibility I hide and abide by His side and subside from Satan’s tide and I crucified the feelings of wanting to cry over you
Copyright © 2024 J.W. Earnings. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs