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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Impossible mission to sleep on opposite side of marital bed... Oddly enough even when frolicking in the autumn mist with seasoned super tramping cheaply tricked out goo goo dolls some resembling Indigo Girls, one foo fighting beastie boy unable to adjust snoozing on the left bedside. Don't ask me why, cuz we (all the barenaked ladies who gifted me with their uncommon sense and sensibility) did make a conscientious effort and try behind closed doors to pry ourselves loose from convention impossible mission to modify behavior indelibly etched in consciousness since being knee-high, each of us sought safety secured snuggled in the bosom of mommy dearest in an effort to thwart the bogeyman, whose breastworks did protect and electrify with severe shock aforementioned unwanted intruder. Even as an older kid shelter sought against adversity climbing into bed particularly our favorite parent's side to skedaddle away from wild things roam'n the hallways nightmarish creatures prowled even bravest in the family did dread of course when lights flicked on they (scary fiends) fled, no matter monsters solely residing in the head, especially if male offspring sung at length about courtesy Eminem and Rihanna and christened Jed (which from the Hebrew translated means beloved of god) the second or "blessing" name given by God through the prophet Nathan in infancy to Solomon, second son of King David and Bathsheba, whose steely mettle exemplary existence he led I prized, honored, coveted, et cetera his as a newlywed, when me and the missus our troth we pled unwaveringly, unstintingly, unhesitatingly, and unconditionally accepted the marriage vows read to us courtesy Henry J. Schireson a Pennsylvania magisterial district judge for Montgomery County Magisterial District nevertheless yours truly violated sacred covenant, and traipsed, tiptoed, and tallied with weed wacker through the tulips (analogous for illicit extramarital liaisons), where angels feared to tread. Courtesy William Congreve's 'The Mourning Bride' (1697) I quote "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned." The permanent contra dance partner accepted viz justice of the peace legal asseveration as thee wife July twenty twenty fifth nineteen ninety six none to pleased to discover visa vis her husband prided himself on discreet rendezvous, which multiple escapades donning Lothario role, nevertheless found yours truly inexplicably witnessing himself, albeit non verbally communicating courtesy tactile pillow talk while I situated myself er lied supinely as Phil Anderer on the right side facing nexus, lexus and lectus which last mentioned word could be single bed for one person or double for a couple; sometimes made of bronze and often made of wood and decorated with moldings of mother of pearl or bronze, and animal-like legs: the more simple ones constituted of terracotta. Said aforementioned experience being Casanova went awry major adjustment to appease and whet appetite of paramour lost moxie to do the wild thang after premature ejaculations plus fount of endearments went dry guilt riddled conscience (people who have been chosen from the general public to listen to the facts about a crime) dick read hung jury namely cuz intercourse consummated, which unbridled coital fricassee clamored to alleviate celibate state, an August occasion even during dead of winter ~2010 frisky antics betook me, (who convinced married gal I met thru Craigslist personals) to infamous “cock rock” at Valley Forge National Park schlepping over and across knee deep ice and snow, one horny goat to attain orgasmic Harris fulfillment didst precariously vie. Although adultery, cupidity, felicity, infidelity, et cetera undermined, ostracized husband, hijacked harmony, and aggravated twenty seven years of potential wedded bliss (even harder to bring to fruition than conceiving offspring), neither the missus nor myself (the mister re: man, an android at heart) could not succumb to our slumbers baiting, counting, dreaming of electric sheep futile upon testing, jump/kickstarting, experimenting, et cetera whereupon I lied supine upon the left side (facing the bed), and she attempted to await the dream weaver comfortably sprawled out on the right side, yet both of us wide awake after the bewitching hour, henceforth we resigned ourselves as creatures of habit to reclaim zzz land territory.
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