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Venus De Milo
It’s not so much her rubenesque shape or her amazonian height of six feet/eight nor even her firm bare breasts – modest for a sex goddess – and therefore of no glued focus in most men’s disappointed eyes, though a furtive dash to her backside (when no one is looking) might be more rewarding, since both body parts are for most men a woman’s most libidinous attractions. Now for the bad news, guys, and a big letdown, this lady’s two focal points of interests are her two missing arms, that have provoked the most speculation, debate and controversy centuries ago. Guesstimates as to how and exactly when are as many as there are notes in a complicated Bach fugue, and all vary with as many unknowns as there are experts and opinions. The one certain constant is that she is, in fact, Aphrodite, sex goddess to ancient Greeks; Venus to the Romans – whichever your preference. At issue plaguing scholars ever since she went armless is their function: what did she use them for? The evidence, though tentative, is that the left arm, is thought to have extended and rested on some sort of support, her hand holding a golden apple, symbol of immortality. That, at least, has been and still is the the favored and accepted opinion, though by no means absolute. As for her right arm, “experts” have been stranded in a Dantesque limbo with new insights rare as diamonds found in oysters. That being the case, and as a nonexpert, though a lifelong admirer of the Milo, I now boldly dare to add my own to the clutter of this mystery and debate; admitting only that mine are just as legitimate and reasonable as others though no less speculative, and like my biases (and theirs) fit my theory as naturally as the lady’s sinuous twist evident at the base of her torso where her garment, I suggest, is probably sliding off her thighs, her now unseen right arm and hand reaching down to snatch it before all is revealed – a stretch, I admit, but hardly out of character with the usual bacchanalian behavior pagan sex goddesses were known and famous for. And whether you agree or not, my interpretation does add a needed touch of raunch prudishly absent from most other “expert” theories, dull as they are, anyway.
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