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Friend
There are days when this sudden emptiness creeps upon me and pervades my anatomies, looking for someone to blame and choking the daylight out of me. It is the feeling you get when you start to sweat and the wind stand still and all you can hear is branches cracking and the giant tree that stood in the middle of the forest start to falling apart. This emptiness is not something that you cannot touch or see, it is that part of you that yearn for a true friend; one that can be with you to the end. People come and go and they want to be part of the show but they stand aloof in the middle of the street, feeding you with a long spoon and seeking desperately to draw attention and somehow I get caught up into it and this emptiness becomes one and it tries desperately to sing a song. I could have gone another route but I saw a naked man sitting on the wall without shoes and swearing about his painful youth. So I walk on the other side of the street nursing the old wound again. It is the part of me that cannot die; it is the part of me that cannot cry. I have always wanted a friend; you know the one that you can share the content of your heart with, the one that will listen to you talk your head off and don’t utter a single word until you are through. I have always wanted a friend that can sit on top of my bed and look in my eyes for thirty minutes until it can sum up my antinomies. I have always wanted a friend that can solve social problems, one that I can call late at night when I have to put up a fight. I have always wanted a friend that we can go mounting climbing and rock climbing together, to go diving in the ocean and dining in the mountains. I have always wanted a friend to play like children and frolic in the grass, one that can bring the youth of me and tell wonderful stories that will bring laughter and tears about the people far and near. I have always wanted a friend to go cross country with me, climb trees and swing from branch to branch and share intimate secrets. And when the day is done we will walk down the ocean with the children and watch them play in the sand. We would watch the evening sun set and reason with birds as they fly over the water and lit up by the golden sun. We would collect sea shells from the shore and spread them out on the towel and count them one by one. Somewhere across the distance I can hear that friend calling out my name; somewhere across the distance I can feel its presence circulating in the air. It is the friend that I am longing for, it is the friend that will speak the truth and restore my stolen youth. Please call my friend.
Copyright © 2024 Christine Phillips. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs