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The man that I’d looked up to most when I was just a kid...that I’d preferred to my own dad...of whom I was ashamed... Often prompted speculation he - without my knowing - likely was my father...and for whom I had been named. The man who’d raised me, Dennis Baxter, rarely made an effort to strengthen our relationship or guarantee I’d know That he and I were dad an’ son...leading me to wonder - wouldn’t my mom’s insistence that they name me - Marty Joe - Foster circumspection - in the minds of those who knew her, aware that -- Joseph Martin -- had been keen to make her his - Along with her decision to so promptly have their nuptials, explain, to all who’d wondered, why my name was what it is! Dying a few years earlier than Mother passed away, Dennis never knew - for sure - what Sharon’s fam’ly does - And while he kept his distance, he would phone her now ad then, and, if you’re wond’ring - was he at her funeral...yes...he was! Willed my mother’s diary...I was stunned when I found out that, long before she’d married Dennis, Joseph had proposed... And had I never read these words I think it’s safe to say - the proof that he’s my father would have never been exposed. From Mother’s diary --- “Our wedding day is carved in stone...the date, the church, the priest...yet Joe continues pleading with me not to turn him down, And, as it stands, I need to call the lady at the store and have her let the waist out - just a smidgen - on my gown! “It’s only three short weeks away...I’m definitely going to show...and I can tell intuitively my foolish ‘final fling’ Is - with no uncertainty, the reason I’m with child, though - due to someone other than the man who bought my ring! “Almost every evening since, I’ve spent the night with Dennis, creating - should I need one down the road - an alibi. He knows, you see, that I dropped in on Joe two months ago to tell his - one-time-closest-friend - a - one-last-time-goodbye! “The tears that poured from Joseph’s eyes, combined with how I loved him, weakened my resolve to disregard his fervent plea, And I gave in to he who’d been my first - ‘gone-all-the-way’ - and whom I knew’s - ‘very first time to ‘ve done it’ - was with me! “Dennis made it crystal clear that he’d prefer to wait...that having children right away was risky - against his will - And not about to tell the truth, I blamed our situation on my - around two months ago - forgetting to take my pill! “At 4 a.m. on April 5th, 1962...Martin Joseph Baxter tipped the scales at 7 pounds, And virtually every person said, “He looks a lot like you...but not so much like Dennis!” when they came to make their rounds! “I think it’s best he doesn’t know...at least until he’s older. Mom and Dad agree with me, plus what good would it do? I’m terrified that Marty’s gonna come to me one day and ask if - what the mirrors suggest - is just a quirk - or true, “And if he does - despite the fact he has the right to know - I wonder how I’ll answer when he looks me in the eye And tells me - he’s been wond’ring why he looks so much like Joseph! I wonder...will I tell the truth...or carry on the lie!” I read this part repeatedly. I fin’ly had my proof. The man who’d sent me birthday cards for 47 years... Who’d often called to ask if Mom and I were both OK...and seemed to be my virtual twin when I’d confide in mirrors, Was, in fact, my father! And...because of how estranged my an’ my ‘stepdad’- Dennis’s -relationship had grown... I was disappointed that my mom had never told me...and would have - if I could have - lived with Joseph, had I known! Aware of how to reach him - having done so off and on - plus promising to do so when we’d talked at Mother’s grave, Just as younger children will - when driven by their instincts to garner the affection and security they crave - I fulfilled my promise - to relate what I had learned. Though nowhere close to knowing if the things I meant to say Would jive with what he knew himself - regardless of his view - I was going to tell him that I loved him - either way. The relative that answered said…“I’m really glad you called...uncle Joseph talked about you almost every day... But he’d been ill the past few weeks and...I’m so sad to tell you...slightly over an hour ago…Joseph passed away! “He chose to spend what time was left with those who lived nearby, and just before he left us, handed brother, Don, a note Telling who - for reasons he’d made clear a thousand times - he wanted as his - only heir - and this is what he wrote:” “I’ve known for years that Sharon Wilson Baxter...Marty’s mom...the very first, and still the only love I’ve ever had... Loved me every bit as much or more as she did Dennis, and thought, like me, that I was far more likely Marty’s dad! “We’d had our final fling just thirteen weeks before they’d married, and I’ve not once regretted what the two of us had done, So I bequeath my entire estate to - Martin Joseph Baxter - whom I’ve been sure, since ‘62, without a doubt’s my son!

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I've Been Sure Since '62

The man that I’d looked up to most when I was just a kid...that I’d preferred to my own dad...of whom I was ashamed... Often prompted speculation he - without my knowing - likely was my father...and for whom I had been named. The man who’d raised me, Dennis Baxter, rarely made an effort to strengthen our relationship or guarantee I’d know That he and I were dad an’ son...leading me to wonder - wouldn’t my mom’s insistence that they name me - Marty Joe - Foster circumspection - in the minds of those who knew her, aware that -- Joseph Martin -- had been keen to make her his - Along with her decision to so promptly have their nuptials, explain, to all who’d wondered, why my name was what it is! Dying a few years earlier than Mother passed away, Dennis never knew - for sure - what Sharon’s fam’ly does - And while he kept his distance, he would phone her now ad then, and, if you’re wond’ring - was he at her funeral...yes...he was! Willed my mother’s diary...I was stunned when I found out that, long before she’d married Dennis, Joseph had proposed... And had I never read these words I think it’s safe to say - the proof that he’s my father would have never been exposed. From Mother’s diary --- “Our wedding day is carved in stone...the date, the church, the priest...yet Joe continues pleading with me not to turn him down, And, as it stands, I need to call the lady at the store and have her let the waist out - just a smidgen - on my gown! “It’s only three short weeks away...I’m definitely going to show...and I can tell intuitively my foolish ‘final fling’ Is - with no uncertainty, the reason I’m with child, though - due to someone other than the man who bought my ring! “Almost every evening since, I’ve spent the night with Dennis, creating - should I need one down the road - an alibi. He knows, you see, that I dropped in on Joe two months ago to tell his - one-time-closest-friend - a - one-last-time-goodbye! “The tears that poured from Joseph’s eyes, combined with how I loved him, weakened my resolve to disregard his fervent plea, And I gave in to he who’d been my first - ‘gone-all-the-way’ - and whom I knew’s - ‘very first time to ‘ve done it’ - was with me! “Dennis made it crystal clear that he’d prefer to wait...that having children right away was risky - against his will - And not about to tell the truth, I blamed our situation on my - around two months ago - forgetting to take my pill! “At 4 a.m. on April 5th, 1962...Martin Joseph Baxter tipped the scales at 7 pounds, And virtually every person said, “He looks a lot like you...but not so much like Dennis!” when they came to make their rounds! “I think it’s best he doesn’t know...at least until he’s older. Mom and Dad agree with me, plus what good would it do? I’m terrified that Marty’s gonna come to me one day and ask if - what the mirrors suggest - is just a quirk - or true, “And if he does - despite the fact he has the right to know - I wonder how I’ll answer when he looks me in the eye And tells me - he’s been wond’ring why he looks so much like Joseph! I wonder...will I tell the truth...or carry on the lie!” I read this part repeatedly. I fin’ly had my proof. The man who’d sent me birthday cards for 47 years... Who’d often called to ask if Mom and I were both OK...and seemed to be my virtual twin when I’d confide in mirrors, Was, in fact, my father! And...because of how estranged my an’ my ‘stepdad’- Dennis’s -relationship had grown... I was disappointed that my mom had never told me...and would have - if I could have - lived with Joseph, had I known! Aware of how to reach him - having done so off and on - plus promising to do so when we’d talked at Mother’s grave, Just as younger children will - when driven by their instincts to garner the affection and security they crave - I fulfilled my promise - to relate what I had learned. Though nowhere close to knowing if the things I meant to say Would jive with what he knew himself - regardless of his view - I was going to tell him that I loved him - either way. The relative that answered said…“I’m really glad you called...uncle Joseph talked about you almost every day... But he’d been ill the past few weeks and...I’m so sad to tell you...slightly over an hour ago…Joseph passed away! “He chose to spend what time was left with those who lived nearby, and just before he left us, handed brother, Don, a note Telling who - for reasons he’d made clear a thousand times - he wanted as his - only heir - and this is what he wrote:” “I’ve known for years that Sharon Wilson Baxter...Marty’s mom...the very first, and still the only love I’ve ever had... Loved me every bit as much or more as she did Dennis, and thought, like me, that I was far more likely Marty’s dad! “We’d had our final fling just thirteen weeks before they’d married, and I’ve not once regretted what the two of us had done, So I bequeath my entire estate to - Martin Joseph Baxter - whom I’ve been sure, since ‘62, without a doubt’s my son!